God
grant me the Serenity
to
accept the things I cannot change,
Courage
to change the things I can,
and
the Wisdom to know
the
difference.
What is Abuse?
Abuse can victimise
anyone ~ no one is immune from it. It leaves one feeling worthless,
empty, ashamed, blaming themselves with no self confidence.
A very lonely experience, victims are often isolated....enduring physical
abuse, control of them and verbal degradation/abuse. Abuse
is inflicted by someone known to the victim...by a stranger, it is assault.
There are numerous
types of abuse - all of which "control" is the main factor.
Many are common in domestic situations, also with physical, emotional,
sexual and child abuse, and unfortunately they often involve children,
as well as women. The aim of the abuser is to control the victim.
They need a sense of power and authority. So they inflict some
kind of abuse on the victim to gain that power and control. And more
often than not, the victim is someone who trusts them....
Never think abuse
is your fault.
Domestic, sexual
or child abuse are crimes.
Abuse Doesn't
have to be Violent
As with domestic
situations, abuse is not only "violent", but can be emotional and
mental as well ~ and just as damaging to the soul, leaving scars long after
the bruises have healed that can take years of recovery. And
for the victim, it is a very lonely experience. Children are
often the victim to this kind of abuse....subjected to threats, degradation
and also sexual abuse. They are often made to promise
that they will never tell (in sexual abuce cases), and to feel degraded,
worthless and empty. The power of the tongue is probably more
damaging and violent than any physicaly kind of abuse, inflicting words
of pain, hate and disrespect. Sexual abuse is not always violent
either, particularly if the abuser is someone known and trusted to the
victim (especially a child who believes they "have to"). Often
abuse so painful to a child can be repressed into adulthood, the mind protecting
them from knowing what they once endured.
** To see the many
other forms of abuse, see "Types of Abuse" and also "Symptoms of Abuse"
using the table below.
Why does he/she
do it?
There are various
ideas as to why someone becomes an abuser. More often when the abuser
is someone known to the victim and someone they trust, it is difficult
to see why they can "hurt" someone they are supposed to love and care for,
particularly a child. And why someone rapes a young girl they know?
One can only ask what makes someone abuse another?
Here are some ideas:
Some of these
are excuses, some are very real issues. But one thing remains the
same ~ the abuser is responsible for his/her actions ~ not you. And
there is never an excuse for child, physical or sexual abuse!
I'm A Survivor
Too
I am a survivor
of sexual abuse ~ I know the pain, the hurt, the shame and the worthlessness.
I know the emptiness, and the lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.
I know how it feels like you're nothing. I know the thoughts
of "why did he do it?" I know what it is like to see
him acting as though nothing happened while he destroyed you.
I know what it is like to see him not get the punishment he deserves because
he was your ex-boyfriend. I know the violation and shame, and
I know it never goes away.
I KNOW, and so do
many others, because we have lived it.
What to do
Abuse IS a crime!
Please help stop it.
For child abuse,
please call your local child welfare organisation or Department.
No child deserves to live with abuse, or neglect (which is abuse too).
For sexual abuse,
report it. Tell someone. People care. Take
someone with you to the Police and the Hospital. Don't let
your abuser go unpunished. Sexual abuse is silent, but don't let
it be....
No one deserves to
be abused, to be degraded or to be made to feel completely worthless!
No one should be a subject for someone's physical abuse.
We all have the right to freedom. Control - that's what it is about....and
we can control our own lives by becoming a survivor. If you
are being abused, YOU CAN do it. I did.
