A phrase

A phrase got in my way.  For whole nights I had to struggle, trying to find some possible coherence in it, seeking to give it some harmony.  If it collapses I'll collapse with it.  My entire salvation depends upon it.  Neither subjunctives nor all the other refinements have shown me the least sign of compassion.  As for pretending to collaborate with me . . .  Then I touched on the truth, the flagrant truth of all my folly.  From now on, I grab it and contemplate it: it quietens down, I quieten down -- it gets worked up again and I get worked up again -- I try so hard -- I am doing my best . . .
 
 

Guide posts

I begin with the A, then pass straight on to the D, hoping to return to the B and the C on some other occasion.  However, on the way back, the muddled trails find the guide posts have disappeared.  Oh, lost clarity, forgotten starting point, a being calls out to you! His cries rend him -- no god to hear them.  And if perchance I were to knock on a door, would there ever be anyone to open it to me?
 

Awakening

It was in one of the forests of my fantasies.  I was running among imaginary plants and getting scratched all over in the thorn thickets, I was ambling along under fairytale vaults.  I kept crashing into panes of glass, each thicker than the last.  But I was moving on, moving on through my forest. Dreaming -- I knew I was in a dream.  Of course, I was bleeding, my whole body more or less covered in cuts.  Yet I felt no distress.  The moment of waking up could not be far off.

But the thing is, I am not dreaming -- and wide awake I bear the stigmata of the thorns, the signs of that suffering I thought was imaginary, and the bruises from my falls that I saw as the offspring of my dreaming.
 
 

To the Mothers

You who from your steaming entrails cast out into the whirlwinds of the world foetuses unable to walk and that the slightest reprimand plunges into the greatest perplexity, why do you not give yourself more time before bringing them forth, and why do you not keep them in you a little longer just for yourselves, these foetuses, so that the burden of existence might weigh less upon them, and so that they do not become less incapable of making a way for themselves in the reek of the universe!