"These newsletters are starting to become nag sessions, where I bear all my grievances…" - Justin

For upcoming fixtures, past newsletters, our illustrious history and more…

Season 4 Record

Matches Played: 18
Matches Won: 12
Matches Lost: 6
Matches Drawn: 0
Goals For: 76
Goals Against: 42
Goal Difference: +34
Bonus Points: 21
Total Points: 69

Points System:
Win = 4 points
Draw = 2 points
Bonus Point = 3 goals

Overall Record

Matches Played: 64
Matches Won: 26
Matches Lost: 33
Matches Drawn: 5
Goals For: 219
Goals Against: 248
Goal Difference: -29

Season-by-Season

Final position at the end of each season:

1 (2002): Div 6 - Last
2 (2002): Div 7 - Third
3 (2003): Div 5 - Fourth
4 (2003): Div 5 - Second

"Platinum Moccasin"

More prestigious than the seasonal "Golden Boot" award, this honour is bestowed upon the player who has kicked the most number of goals in the brief, yet illustrious history of the All Hacks!

49 - Alan
27 - Ajay
19 - Adrian
16 - Sung
15 - Anisha
14 - Thanh
12 - Ara
11 - Alain
9 - Justin, Maal
8 - Francis
5 - Chi, Sam
3 - Peter
2 - Alex, Gerald, Kheang, Shan, Sophal, Tuan
1 - Abi, David, Ian, Mak, Siwei

The "Dunce Cap"

Like the "baggy green" of the Australian cricket team, the All Hacks also have their own traditional head accessory, the "dunce cap".

Each cap is numbered to represent the order in which each individual has played for the All Hacks.

Where does your favourite player stand in the proud history of the All Hacks?

01 - Alain (0,26)
02 - Francis (5,22)
03 - Huy (0,3)
04 - Ian (0,12)
05 - Justin (17,59)
06 - Keong (15,43)
07 - Peter (5,40)
08 - Shaun (0,26)
09 - Sung (11,49)
10 - Adrian (16,49)
11 - Chi (0,11)
12 - Danny (0,19)
13 - Gerald (0,5)
14 - Justin (Scrub) (0,3)
15 - Simon (0,3)
16 - Nick (0,3)
17 - Shan (0,4)
18 - Alex (0,2)
19 - Alan (0,30)
20 - Rob (0,3)
21 - Jonathan (0,1)
22 - Masum (0,2)
23 - Marco (0,3)
24 - Thanh (17,44)
25 - Sam (2,3)
26 - Sandy (0,2)
27 - Siwei (0,1)
28 - Abhrajit (Abi) (0,13)
29 - Ajay (13,32)
30 - Mak (0,1)
31 - Fong (0,2)
32 - Kheang (0,3)
33 - Maal (8,15)
34 - Justin (Spikey) (0,1)
35 - Sophal (1,1)
36 - Tuan (1,1)
37 - Wai (3,3)
38 - Ara (12,12)
39 - Eric (1,1)
40 - John (1,1)
41 - Steven (1,1)
42 - Anisha (7,7)
43 - Pin (1,1)
44 - David (2,2)

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All Hacks FC

Season Winter/Spring 2003

Welcome to another season of Indoor Soccer (a.k.a. Sunday night torture). The All Hacks are in the combined Division 5/6, which means that we will play finals no matter where we finish! Thus, even before a ball has been kicked, we would have at least equalled our performance of last season!

In the opening round of the Winter/Spring 2003 season, late withdrawals from several squad members caused some great angst to yours truly. A few phone calls later, a potential nervous breakdown was averted. The All Hacks welcomed two stars from the Springvale league and fellow Westall buddies Sophal and Tuan. Keong's cousin, Wai, also debuted with a solid performance for the All Hacks.

Squad: Adrian, Justin, Keong (GK), Peter, Sophal, Thanh, Tuan, Wai

Fortunately, the All Hacks weren't the only team with organisation problems. Our opponents, S.T.B. were decimated with only four players arriving for the match. A walk in the park with two extra players on field for the All Hacks, you ask? Well, then you obviously haven't seen the All Hacks in action (where we make the simplest things appear impossibly difficult!).

S.T.B. surprised the All Hacks with the opening goal in the opening minutes. As you would expect with two extra players, the All Hacks dominated the rest of the half, with multiple opportunities to equalise. However, as you would expect with the All Hacks, our conversion let us down, although to our defence, the S.T.B. goalkeeper made some incredible saves.

The All Hacks trailed 1-nil at half-time, and at the resumption of play, soon conceded another goal. The All Hacks finally sprung into action with two quick goals from Sophal and Tuan to restore some dignity for the All Hacks. However, another lapse in concentration allowed S.T.B. to take a 3-2 lead and with 5 minutes to play, an embarrassing defeat seemed inevitable. Having only four players for the entire match eventually tolled on S.T.B., and great strike from Sophal's lethal left foot equalised proceedings. With only 30 seconds left in the match, a great individual run and goal from Tuan allowed the All Hacks to snatch victory from the humiliating jaws of defeat.

The All Hacks escaped with a questionable victory, however in the end the scoreboard only remembers who won the match, not how the game was won! A morale-boosting victory? Maybe that's asking a bit too much, but we'll take it anyway!

2 - Sophal, Tuan

In news off the field, Abi announced his premature retirement during the week, citing the gruelling playing surface (i.e. lush carpet) as a major factor in making his tough decision. Abi's expected appearance at All Hacks' matches weren't always realised, providing last-minute excuses to avoid a grilling from yours truly, and it was only fitting of Abi's style that he did not appear in his promised farewell match this week. In the revolving-door selection policy of the All Hacks: Abi's inglorious exit was filled by Ara.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Sung, Thanh

The much anticipated Round #2 clash against our Asian rivals of Division 5/6 did not live up to any great expectations. In a match where the referee's whistle was blown all too frequently, neither team could muster any ounce of momentum.

After a goal-less first half, the match opened up in the second. Thanh's great deflection broke the deadlock, but unfortunately it was to the back of our own net. In the final frantic minutes of the match, our attacking plays were thwarted by our worst enemies: our lack of killer instinct and our woeful final conversion in front of goal. For the first time in the All Hacks' illustrious history we failed to trouble the scorekeepers. At the final whistle, a big fat zero was ingrained onto the scoreboard (at least our score wasn't in the negative!).

2 - Sophal, Tuan

A team previously renowned, revered, and feared for their extended interchange bench, the All Hacks struggled to assemble a full team on the field this week. A frantic recruitment drive moments before our match yielded three members from our Asian rivals, Rain. In a great example of sportsmanship and humanity, personal rivalries gave way to helping out a fellow Asian team in dire need.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Eric, John, Justin, Keong (GK), Steven, Sung, Thanh

Several contentious refereeing decisions cruelly denied the All Hacks from taking a well-deserved lead in the first half. Sung's tremendous strike from a free-kick rattled the cross-bar and appeared to ricochet well past the goal line, but was deemed otherwise. A great passage of play that was finished off in style by a member of Rain was disallowed, as the referee deemed he had momentarily ventured into the forbidden goalkeeper's zone. When the referee finally paid a decision in favour of the All Hacks, we failed to convert our penalty strike.

In the second half, Posse began to dominate possession, however the All Hacks were doing a tremendous effort to absorb the pressure. It was no surprise at all that another refereeing decision would cost the All Hacks a goal, as Posse converted a dubious penalty. Posse scored another goal in the final minutes of the match, with a great (if intended?) strike from the right flank, which curled into the right corner of our goal.

It was a shame that a competitive game was marred by some indifferent refereeing decisions. It has now been 68.5 match minutes since the All Hacks last celebrated a goal.

2 - Sophal, Tuan

Following our two matches in which we failed to score, the All Hacks slipped to seventh on the ladder. Needing a victory to avoid the tag as being early favourites for the wooden spoon, the All Hacks faced this season's debutants and current occupants of the bottom position, P.E.'s. Our cause was helped enormously this week with the return of Maal for his first game this season, and Justin's 'flu virus which restricted him to only a few minutes on the field.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Sung, Thanh

The All Hacks began the match rather lethargically, and were startled by P.E.'s enthusiasm for the ball. The All Hacks mounted several promising attacking forays, however were punished for neglecting to support our shaky defence. P.E.'s managed to bypass something that barely resembled our defence and to our shock, scored the first two goals of the match. To our credit, the All Hacks never panicked, and after Maal's substitution onto the field, were in total control for the rest of the match. Ajay and Ara converted a succession of penalties awarded to the All Hacks, and our drought of 76 scoreless minutes was broken with two goals in two minutes. Scores were level at 2-all going into half-time.

The All Hacks dominated play in the second half, and our terrific team effort was rewarded spectacularly with a goal which resulted from a brilliant pass from Ajay that perfectly found Sung running unopposed in front of goal. Minutes later, Ajay sealed the match with a great goal from the left pocket, which bamboozled the opposing keeper. P.E.'s scored a late goal to set up a tense finish, however a crude tackle from behind on Ajay soured the final stages of the match. With the clock continuing to run down, the All Hacks withstood the final onslaught from P.E.'s and ran out deserving victors.

Our match this week was the All Hacks' 50th in the Insportz Oakleigh Indoor Soccer league. Thank goodness we celebrated it with a great team-orientated victory! Congratulations!

2 - Ajay, Sophal, Tuan
1 - Ara, Sung

With the absence of our regular stalwarts: Adrian and Sung, the All Hacks were out-sized and out-manned, but not out-classed in the semi-final replay against F.C. Sambos Utd.

Squad: Ajay, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Thanh

Still hurting from our loss in last season's semi-final, the All Hacks began the match in blistering fashion. Our relentless intensity ruffled a few Sambos feathers, who conceded a succession of undisciplined penalties. Unfortunately, the Sambos hoodoo continued, and we failed to convert our early penalty opportunities. Despite our misfortunes, the All Hacks stuck to their simple, yet effective game plan of sharing the ball and shutting down the opposition playmaker: "# 5". Our endeavours were finally rewarded as Ara snuck a shot past a complacent goalkeeper to open the scoring for the All Hacks. After Ajay calmly converted a penalty to put the All Hacks two-up, a tirade of dissent and profanities from F.C. Sambos Utd. resulted in a member of the opposition being shown the red card, and taking the lonely walk of shame out of the field. With an extra player for the remainder of the match, the All Hacks exploited the referee's gift, and Ajay scored another great goal to cap off a brilliant first half.

With an extended interchange bench, F.C. Sambos Utd. were able to assemble a more competitive unit early in the second half. After being closely guarded for the entire first half, "# 5" managed to momentarily break free and score early in the second half. However, Maal converted a great goal soon after to silence the pro-Sambos crowd. A demoralised F.C. Sambos Utd. then capitulated under the All Hacks' pressure in defence and pin-point passes in attack. Whereas our opposition was too one-dimensional and predictable, the All Hacks had numerous avenues towards goal. With the defence of F.C. Sambos Utd. surrendering without a whimper, the opposition goalie was condemned to an execution in front of a hungry All Hacks firing squad. Despite some our players shooting blanks directly in front of goal, the lethal feet of Ara and Ajay ensured the All Hacks cruised to another great team victory.

5 - Ajay
4 - Ara
2 - Sophal, Tuan
1 - Maal, Sung

With our current "golden boot" leader, Ajay exiled to rural Victoria for the next six weeks, would the All Hacks remain as potent as before without our key striker, or would we limp through to the end of another mediocre season?

Squad: Adrian, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Sung, Thanh

The All Hacks dominated the first half of the match, winning possession with minimal pressure. Ara capitalised on a fumbling Clayton Pride goalkeeper to score the All Hacks' opening goal. Sloppy defence from Clayton Pride resulted in penalties being awarded to the All Hacks. Having analysed all the minute intricacies involved with taking penalties from our ill-fated attempts in past matches, Thanh put his theory into practice and converted twice to put the All Hacks comfortably ahead by three goals at half-time. The All Hacks had completely shut-down the opposition offence, and our frugal defence offered the opposition not a single convincing shot on goal for the entire first half.

Sung donned the goal-keeping gloves in the second half, allowing Keong a rare opportunity to venture beyond the goal-keeping zone. Clayton Pride were more competitive in the second half, creating several opportunities to score that were only denied by the numerous great lunging saves from Sung. Sung gobbled up everything that came near him, so eager he was to maintain a clean sheet for the All Hacks. The All Hacks sealed victory with a brilliant driving run and cross from Maal to Ara, who clinically finished in front of goal.

6 - Ara
5 - Ajay
2 - Sophal, Thanh, Tuan
1 - Maal, Sung

Following a mid-season league re-shuffle, the All Hacks remained in the Derrière League (i.e. opposite of the Premier League), which now encompasses six teams in the revamped Division 5. Unfortunately, this event has conspired against the All Hacks, who are now no certainties to play in the finals and must play matches with an unfamiliar concept of attempting to win them?! Prior to the restructure, the All Hacks were placed fourth in our league, but with the top three teams promoted to Division 4, the All Hacks were serendipitously elevated into the dizzying heights of being top of the ladder! From being the hunter to the hunted, our current All Hacks squad is embarking on a journey where no other previous All Hacks squads have ventured before!

Squad: Adrian, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Peter, Thanh

With Sung still plagued by a mystery illness, the All Hacks lacked the solidarity in defence and variety in attack from our recent performances. Both teams had opportunities to take the lead in an evenly contested first half, and Keong worked overtime to keep the opposition scoreless with some tremendous saves during the first half. Unfortunately, with less than ten seconds left in the first half, a long-range effort from an unmarked opponent found the inside right corner of the goal post.

The All Hacks remained upbeat at half time despite conceding the late goal, and started the second half with Ara and Maal looking dangerous up in attack. Ara's hard work was rewarded with a converted penalty to level proceedings. The referee succumbed to persistent whingeing from a certain C.F. Adonis member, and awarded a free kick just outside the All Hacks' defensive third. It took a brilliant (or fluky?) free kick from an opposition striker to pierce the All Hacks' miserly defence and break the deadlock. Deflated, but not demoralised, the All Hacks fought valiantly and desperately in the closing stages but were unable to score the equaliser.

7 - Ara
5 - Ajay
2 - Sophal, Thanh, Tuan
1 - Maal, Sung

To take a positive from a negative, C.F. Adonis were one of the three teams promoted to another league. So the moral of the story is: if you can't beat them, then "promote" them out of your league!

In news off the field, Peter was placed on the long-term injury list with every toe-basher's Achilles' Heel, a chronic necrotic toenail. After hearing Peter's tragic circumstances, Ajay travelled halfway across Victoria from his rural retreat to make a welcomed return, to bolster the All Hacks' line-up that faced our nemesis, F.C. Sambos Utd.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Sung, Thanh

In a match dominated by the whistle rather than the ball, the All Hacks were the victims of bewildering refereeing decisions. A dubious handball decision resulted in the All Hacks conceding the first penalty and subsequent opening goal of the match. F.C. Sambos Utd. went two-goals up minutes later, as the rampaging "#5" snuck a ball past our defence, between Keong's legs and into our net. As the old soccer proverb goes, "the most dangerous score to lead is 2-nil", and so it proved for F.C. Sambos Utd. as the All Hacks' controlled the tempo of the match thereafter, harassing the opposing goalkeeper and constantly intercepting his throw-ins. A scintillating run pass from the right flank by Ara brilliantly set up Adrian who converted with deft precision in front of goal. Playing a milestone 50th match for the All Hacks, Justin was cruelly denied a goal by a blind-sighted (or just plain blind!) referee. In a brief purple patch, Justin was involved in the ol' one-two pass combo with Thanh, who scored with the right out-step of his boot for the equaliser.

The All Hacks were just as dominant in the second half, winning possession in the vital contests and went 3-2 up soon after the resumption of play. Ajay seized upon a fumbling opposition goalkeeper, who had come off his line to meet the ball, but juggled his nervous attempt to grasp the ball. With the match in total control, the All Hacks switched off a gear, much to our peril. A lapse in defence allowed "#5" to gain possession dangerously in front of goal, leaving Keong with no other option but to block the shot beyond the goalkeeping zone. The resultant converted penalty levelled the scores once more, and minutes later, the final, farcical and fatal handball decision against the All Hacks presented F.C. Sambos Utd. with another converted penalty, and "handed" them the unlikely victory.

7 - Ara
6 - Ajay
3 - Thanh
2 - Sophal, Tuan
1 - Adrian, Maal, Sung

After suffering a bout of stage-fright from being the league leaders with narrow defeats in the past few rounds, the All Hacks unveiled their latest high-profile recruit Anisha, and welcomed back Wai to mount another challenge for the elusive top spot.

Squad: Adrian, Anisha, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Thanh, Wai

Only five Clayton Pride players turned up for the match, with the ubiquitous "soccer squatter" filling in to complete their line-up. (The sum of the talent of the five Clayton Pride players was less than the squatter's individual talent!) Early in the first half, the squatter surprised the All Hacks with a quick kick that sailed into the top left corner of our goal. The All Hacks soon equalised after Justin's silky (or deceptively slow?) footwork bypassed the squatter, and threaded the ball into the right corner of the goal. The squatter remained threatening for the rest of the half, and from a free header managed to pop the ball over Keong's outstretched arms to score for the second time.

Scores were brought back to 1-all during half-time, as the squatter's "maillot jaune" did not match the green attire of Clayton Pride. In the second half, Clayton Pride were green with envy, as their squatter recruit began to show signs of fatigue after playing endless free games, and our newest recruit, Anisha began to dominate. Resorting to extreme tactics, a Clayton Pride member took a dive to receive a penalty, however injured his ankle in the process of exaggerating his Academy Award effort. With the match still in the balance, Anisha decided to dribble the ball via the scenic route to goal, passing every single opponent with incredible ease, and with composure and finesse, mesmerised the keeper and slotted the ball into the back net for the undisputed goal of the season. To prove that it wasn't a fluke, Anisha took a more direct route minutes later that still yielded the same outcome, and polished off a solid victory for the All Hacks.

7 - Ara
6 - Ajay
3 - Thanh
2 - Anisha, Sophal, Tuan
1 - Adrian, Justin, Maal, Sung

With all the hype surrounding the much anticipated inaugural quasi-MHS showdown, scheduled in the prime timeslot of the last match of Round #10 (i.e. empty stadium), both teams lived up to expectations of a game plagued with bumbling passes, point-blank misses and outright chaos.

Squad: Adrian, Francis, Justin, Keong (GK), Pin, Sung, Thanh, Wai

Struggling to field a full side, the All Hacks welcomed Keong's brother, Pin, and Francis appeared for an impromptu cameo performance. With some restructuring (or destabilising) of the All Hacks line-up resulting in players being in unfamiliar roles, the Harinder-led Brazilian Whacks were primed to cause a major boilover. The combination of sheer arrogance, and a five-man forward line led to the All Hacks conceding the first goal, as Brazilian Whacks pounced on a turnover and subsequent counter-attack. Some semblance of sanity was restored soon after, as Adrian converted a penalty to equalise proceedings. Specifically recruited by Brazilian Whacks for the showdown, the retired/delisted (delete one) All Hacks player Masum kicked his former team where it hurts with a long range lob that glided past everyone for a stunning goal.

Despite trailing on the scoreboard, the All Hacks continued to dominate possession and created countless opportunities to equalise. Justin was able to fortuitously take advantage of the opposing keeper coming off his line and tapped a ball into the goal for the equaliser. Permanently perched unopposed in front of goal, Sung's attempts to successfully miss a goal created a source of light comedic relief to break the tension of the match. With his striking boot well and truly off-target, Sung unbelievably managed to accurately cross the ball to Francis, who with total composure scored to put the All Hacks in the lead at half-time.

With the All Hacks adopting a more orthodox strategy in the second half, the match turned into a more predictable affair. The All Hacks were holding firm in defence and starved Brazilian Whacks of any shot on goal. After the goalkeeper deflected Thanh's shot on goal, Justin snuck along the left flank to pick up the crumbs and curl a goal from an acute angle. In the final minutes of the match, Adrian powered through a lacklustre Brazilian Whacks defence to score a brilliant solo goal.

7 - Ara
6 - Ajay
3 - Adrian, Justin, Thanh
2 - Anisha, Sophal, Tuan
1 - Francis, Maal, Sung

The All Hacks welcomed back Ajay's return to civilisation in a crucial match against current league leaders and rival Asian team, Rain. Having never defeated Rain in our past four encounters, and going down to a cruel own goal earlier this season, the All Hacks were determined to silence their trademark arrogance and disrespect towards their opponents.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Ara, Francis, Justin, Sung (GK), Thanh

With Keong and extended family unavailable for the match, Sung was called upon for our goalkeeping duties. The All Hacks were slow to find their feet in the opening minutes, with the early ascendency going to Rain. After surviving the opening barrage, and as hard as it is to admit, a fine sweeping play by Rain resulted in a great shot that ended in the top right corner of our goal. The All Hacks then rallied to create chances to score, and Sung's desperate saves were crucial in keeping the All Hacks within touch. A sliding tackle from a sloppy Rain defender temporarily curtailed Ara's drive towards goal, and his subsequent converted penalty equalised proceedings heading into half-time.

Unable to implement their usual running-style game plan, Rain became increasingly flustered as the All Hacks dried up their attacking options. Sensing their frustration, the All Hacks' lifted their intensity and gaps began to appear in Rain's defence. Ajay seized his opportunity to expose Rain's defence, and in total command of play, dribbled and delayed his shot in front of goal until the right moment arose to caress the ball into the net. A contentious decision followed soon after, as the opposing goalkeeper was deemed to have taken too long to release the ball. The All Hacks showed no sympathy as Ara took full advantage with a calm penalty conversion.

The All Hacks retained possession in the final minutes, and with the match sewn up, a wreckless tackle on Ajay from an unapologetic opposition player soured an otherwise inspired All Hacks victory. The resulting converted penalty from Ajay was greeted with the final whistle, however the ungracious opponents were quick to disperse and typically failed to acknowledge the better team on the day, (not that we were expecting anything more from such an esteemed group of well-mannered individuals).

9 - Ara
8 - Ajay
3 - Adrian, Justin, Thanh
2 - Anisha, Sophal, Tuan
1 - Francis, Maal, Sung

The All Hacks bid farewell to Ara and Maal for their six week sojourn to regional Victoria. Hopefully, they will be back for the finals series. I will also be a noticeable absentee from next week's match. As much of a gap this will leave in our team's structure, I am sure you all will be able to replace my bad passes and missed shots on goal for just one week! Our opponents next match are currently on the bottom, but please do not be complacent as stranger things may happen (and HAVE happened to our team)! Good luck!

Well well… Even before the game started there was a major controversy involving the abandonment of our captain (Justin) and his trusty side-kick (Thanh) in a crucial game for the All Hacks as the finals approach closer. With last minute frantic calls to find replacement players, the All Hacks were once again able to coax semi-retired Francis into playing. Also, we welcomed back our super-replacement players in Sam and Anisha (Neesh), and lastly the All Hacks were delighted in having David debut for this illustrious club.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Anisha, David, Francis, Sam, Sung (GK)

With so many new faces, the All Hacks had an introductory training session where we met and introduced each other for the first time. With all the formalities done, it was time to play the game.

The first couple of minutes were very tight as both teams tried to find each other's weakness, however Sam broke the deadlock and scored the first of his four goals from the most impossible angle: the side net. This inspired the All Hacks to be more adventurous and attack.

For the first time, the All Hacks played this beautiful game as it is supposed to be played. Attack after attack the ball travelled beautifully: from one side to the other, into the middle and back to the outside. Individual skills by Neesh, David, Sam and Ajay showed us why soccer is the world's beautiful game. Their skills totally bamboozling the opposition as they gave away a penalty which Neesh converted comfortably. Also, complements to our defenders in Francis and Adrian, as they thwarted the opposition attack time after time. To round off a great first half, Sam scored two more goals to add to his tally.

With the game virtually won, the All Hacks pace dropped in the second half. Neesh found the goalkeeper out of position to score twice from long distance. Sam scored his last goal from the same angle as his first goal. Our debutant David converted a penalty. And Francis with great assist from yours truly, scored a powerful goal to round off the game.

9 - Ara
8 - Ajay
5 - Anisha
4 - Sam
3 - Adrian, Justin, Thanh
2 - Francis, Sophal, Tuan
1 - David, Maal, Sung

For once, the All Hacks are flying into the finals. With only a couple of games left, the All Hacks find themselves alone on top of the division, with our nearest and Asian rivals Rain losing this round to our bogey team in F.C. Sambos Utd. Let's keep it up and take out this season's championship!!! Hey Justin, maybe you should miss couple more games…

Following last week's apparent annihilation of Rockin' Elvises, the All Hacks were a game clear on top heading into this round. For the conspiracy theorists, is it a coincidence that the All Hacks perform at their very best without the services of Justin, as was the case last week? To crush any validity to this vicious theory, yours truly returned for the top of the ladder showdown against our nemesis, F.C. Sambos Utd.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Anisha, Justin, Keong (GK), Thanh

With Sung being a late omission to the squad, the All Hacks were faced with playing out the entire match without any substitutions. However, this did not deter the All Hacks from playing an exciting brand of indoor soccer, mixing possession with solid defence and flare in attack. With defenders quickly closing in, a brilliant cross from Adrian found Justin free in front of goal for the All Hacks' first goal. However, F.C. Sambos Utd. soon equalised from the boot of "#5". The trend continued as Adrian thumped our next goal, only to be matched by another strike from F.C. Sambos Utd.'s dominant player: "#5". F.C. Sambos Utd.'s over-reliance on "#5" soon became their downfall, as predictable plays (i.e. give it to "#5" so he can dribble and score) were intercepted with ease. Anisha once again weaved his magic to score a goal nearing half-time to give the All Hacks all the momentum for the second half.

The second half was a wonderful display of free flowing indoor soccer and well-constructed goals. A typical vintage performance by Anisha yielded him three goals for the match, and his scintillating passes set up more goals for the All Hacks. Ajay was unlucky not to score, however provided a terrific cross to find Adrian, Thanh and Justin all in front of goal. After drawing straws, yours truly was the lucky one to score from the acute angle to complete a very rare hat-trick performance. Thanh also chimed in with a hat-trick of sorts (two goals for the All Hacks and one for F.C. Sambos Utd.). With the result beyond doubt, a deft shoulder deflection off Thanh from a F.C. Sambos Utd. free-kick provided the opposition with one of their few highlights for the second half.

9 - Ara
8 - Ajay, Anisha
6 - Justin
5 - Thanh
4 - Adrian, Sam
2 - Francis, Sophal, Tuan
1 - David, Maal, Sung

The All Hacks are now the deserving title favourites following our crushing victory against our closest opponents in Division 5. Despite missing Sung and half of last week's squad, ironically, we achieved the same final score as last week's performance. Can you hear that Sung? It's the sound of humility...

Looking to consolidate our position on top of Division 5, the All Hacks faced fourth-placed opponents, Clayton Pride, who were fielding a weakened side (i.e. their full squad was available and did not resort/rely on imports from a team in a higher division to carry the team). The All Hacks were also weakened somewhat with the late omissions of goalkeepers Keong and Sung. Adrian was coerced to play as goalkeeper for the majority of the match, and due to the All Hacks' tight budget, courageously kept without the comfort of goalkeeping gloves.

Squad: Adrian (GK), Ajay, Anisha, Ara, Justin, Maal, Thanh

The All Hacks' undefeated record against Clayton Pride was never threatened in this week's encounter, as the All Hacks controlled possession and dictated proceedings right from the starting whistle. In the opening minutes, Ara was brought down in the attacking third, and Ajay converted the resulting penalty for our first goal. Thanh scored our second goal minutes later, after a brilliant pass from Ajay found Thanh wide open in attack. Anisha's amazing and seemingly effortless long range free-kick had class stamped all over it, catching every player off guard and leaving the goalkeeper helplessly only being able to watch the ball sail into the net. Maal's unselfish pass to Justin for the simple conversion made difficult topped off a near-flawless first half for the All Hacks.

Anisha's silky dribbling and sublime finishing skills continued the procession of goals in the second half. With the result beyond doubt, Justin returned to the match as the substitute-substitute goalkeeper to relieve Adrian of his duties. After an inauspicious start, Justin's throw-ins finally found their intended targets, epitomised by a fast break from Ara, and his a clever flick pass to Thanh to tap in a goal manufactured in less than five seconds. The combined (ok, it was 75/25) effort between goalkeeping titans Adrian and Justin ensured the All Hacks' defence maintained a sparkling clean sheet for the match.

11 - Anisha
9 - Ajay, Ara
7 - Justin, Thanh
4 - Adrian, Sam
2 - Francis, Sophal, Tuan
1 - David, Maal, Sung

The much-anticipated second-leg of the quasi-MHS showdown mirrored the chaos and influency of the first-leg. With both teams currently occupying the extreme ends of Division 5, to naive onlookers, it appeared at times that the All Hacks were infact the team firmly entrenched at the bottom of the ladder.

Squad: Ajay, Ara, Francis, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Sung, Thanh

In a carbon-copy start, Brazilian Whacks again pounced on a sloppy All Hacks defence to score the opening goal early in the first half. Shaken, but not stirred, the All Hacks failed to meet the standards of champagne football displayed during this hallmark season, but did enough to regather our composure and seize control of the match. Ara scored the equaliser via a penalty, and Maal's trademark 360 degree turns yielded two stylish goals, providing the All Hacks with a hard fought 3-1 lead at half-time.

Undisciplined play by Brazilian Whacks presented the All Hacks with seven penalties for the entire match. However, the All Hacks were only able to convert two of them, with Harinder's deceptively slender goalkeeping-frame frustratingly thwarting the All Hacks penalty after penalty. A late flurry of goals to the All Hacks in the closing stages of the match added some respectability to the scoreline. All the energy and perspiration expired for this victory once again proves that the difference between first and last is not much (for the pure mathematicians out there, the difference is six goals).

11 - Anisha
10 - Ara
9 - Ajay
8 - Thanh
7 - Justin
4 - Adrian, Maal, Sam
3 - Francis
2 - Sophal, Sung, Tuan
1 - David

Following last round's victory against Brazilian Whacks, the minnows of Division 5, the All Hacks have wrapped up top spot, the minor premiership, and the valuable double chance in the finals series, all with a round to spare. With nothing much except pride to play for in the final round, the All Hacks tried to rest our valuable stars, however Adrian, Anisha, Ajay, Ara and Maal decided to play, so we rested Sung instead.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Anisha, Ara, Justin, Keong (GK), Maal, Thanh

The All Hacks struggled to gain any momentum in the second half, and a dubious penalty decision allowed Rain to take the lead for the first time in the match midway through the second half. Playing for second spot on the ladder, Rain held on grimly to their narrow lead and continued to frustrate the All Hacks with their foul tactics. Anisha was denied a certain goal by the referee's poor interpretation of the laws of physics, and the final whistle blew too soon for the All Hacks to find the elusive equaliser.

12 - Ara
11 - Anisha
9 - Ajay
8 - Thanh
7 - Justin
4 - Adrian, Maal, Sam
3 - Francis
2 - Sophal, Sung, Tuan
1 - David

Despite the disappointment of this week's loss against our Asian rivals, it was "the loss that the All Hacks had to have". As this week's match has shown, we cannot be complacent, not even for a second. Minor premiers of Division 5 is a terrific achievement, however our mission is only half complete. The real season starts now…

In our most significant match to date in the 2-year history of the All Hacks FC, the All Hacks recalled our cameo players David, Francis and Sam to bolster our line-up. Having been bundled out of the previous finals series by F.C. Sambos Utd., the All Hacks were to redeem ourselves and along the way, for some retribution too!

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Anisha, David, Francis, Justin, Keong (GK), Sam, Sung, Thanh

With a Grand Final berth at stake, the opening minutes were extremely tense and fiery. Standing firm in defence, the All Hacks repelled the early challenge from F.C. Sambos Utd.'s premier striker "#5". Francis was an early casualty with a season-ending twisted ankle, and the resulting defensive reshuffle unsettled the All Hacks. Despite our pre-match tactics of "guarding #5 with your life", our undiscipline allowed "#5" to run rampant, create and score 3 goals during the first half. At this point, Anisha pleaded for some structure to our team, and the All Hacks responded, with Justin redeployed to the sweeper role from his previous "headless chicken" role. In the final minutes of the first half, a defensive error from F.C. Sambos Utd. allowed Sam to pounce and volley a ball past the goalkeeper for a crucial goal to keep the All Hacks within touch at half-time.

F.C. Sambos Utd. extended their lead soon after the resumption of play, and with the All Hacks frustratingly missing the goals by millimetres on countless occasions, the traditional All Hacks hoodoo against F.C. Sambos Utd. seemed to again haunt the All Hacks. However, it was only a matter of time before the All Hacks regained our composure, and a quick burst in attack was polished off by Thanh, who found himself free in the corner to score a calmly converted goal, and the resurrection had begun. Still recovering from a mystery illness, Anisha inspired the All Hacks with daring surges in attack, and drilled two goals in the space of three minutes, and suddenly the All Hacks were on level terms with F.C. Sambos Utd.

With the opposition all at sea, and at the All Hacks' mercy, Keong was in a charitable mood and donated a goal to our opponents, just to keep the game alive with six minutes to go. F.C. Sambos Utd.'s fortune was short-lived, as Anisha guided a superb goal through the opposition net in the final minutes of regulation time to send the match into extra-time.

As minor premiers of Division 5, the All Hacks would progress through to the final if scores were still level after sudden death extra-time, hence the All Hacks placed an extra player in defence for the two three-minute extra-time halves. After a quiet second half, "#5" tried to win the game off his own boot, and commanded possession of the ball. With the one-dimensional play of F.C. Sambos Utd. ever obvious, at one stage, four All Hacks players surrounded "#5" to dispossess him! In the final minute of the first period of extra-time, a sweeping foray into attack by the All Hacks allowed an unguarded Ajay to strike the ball from long range, that delicately floated into the top corner of the goal. Scenes of jubilation followed, as Ajay's "golden goal" had capped off a tremendous comeback from the All Hacks, and propelled us to the Grand Final next week.

14 - Anisha
12 - Ara
10 - Ajay
9 - Thanh
7 - Justin
5 - Sam
4 - Adrian, Maal
3 - Francis
2 - Sophal, Sung, Tuan
1 - David

In the curtain raiser that preceded our match, Rockin' Elvises humbled, and then humiliated Rain 6-nil in the Minor Semi Final. The dark horses of Division 5, Rockin' Elvises will now meet F.C. Sambos Utd. in the Preliminary Final, with the winner of that match earning the right to challenge the All Hacks in the Grand Final.

Our stunning semifinal victory has seen the All Hacks, once paupers of Insportz Oakleigh, now just one match away from the holy grail. Our final opponents will be decided on the night before the Grand Final, so the All Hacks will have the edge in terms of fitness (our opponents will play two matches in two days) and finance (our opponents will pay for two matches in two days!). History awaits…

After 63 gruelling matches over 4 epic seasons, with countless injuries and retirements along the way, the All Hacks' day of reckoning (the Grand Final) had at long last arrived. Playing in the biggest stage of our careers, you would have assumed that we would all have set our alarm clocks to arrive well before the kick-off. However, Sung had apparently more important things to do and was a very late arrival. Standing in the All Hacks' way of indoor soccer immortality were Rockin' Elvises, who annihilated our former nemesis, F.C. Sambos Utd. 6-1 in the Preliminary Final.

Squad: Adrian, Ajay, Anisha, Ara, Justin, Keong, Sung (GK), Thanh

Following our thrashing of Rockin' Elvises in our previous encounter six weeks ago, Rockin' Elvises has since resurrected themselves from the grave, and undergone a massive transformation from being certain wooden-spooners to genuine premiership contenders. A shadow of the team that we trounced earlier in the season, Rockin' Elvises unashamedly recruited professional "rent-a-ring-in" players to become overnight finalists.

The opening minutes were typical of a final: a chance to settle the pre-game nerves and tension, and with both teams sizing up their opponent. However, Rockin' Elvises soon gained the ascendancy of the match, and the All Hacks were on the back foot for most of the first half. After repelling the early onslaught, the All Hacks' defence crumbled under the pressure of Rockin' Elvises' constant attacking drives, and conceded three goals leading into half-time.

A reshuffle for the second half saw Keong exchange his goalkeeping gloves to Sung, and the All Hacks adopted a 2-1-2 formation in an attempt to solidify our shaky defence. A reinvigorated All Hacks unit fired up early in the second half, with a classic goal from Anisha raising hopes of a comeback. However, it was only short-lived as the All Hacks weren't able to sustain the momentum, and two late goals to Rockin' Elvises snuffed out any faint hope for the All Hacks.

15 - Anisha
12 - Ara
10 - Ajay
9 - Thanh
7 - Justin
5 - Sam
4 - Adrian, Maal
3 - Francis
2 - Sophal, Sung, Tuan
1 - David

It was a disappointing end to what otherwise had been a marvellous season for the All Hacks. Undisputedly, we were the best team of the season, however were upstaged at the final hurdle. Perhaps one has to experience the bitterness of defeat before one can fully appreciate a triumphant victory. Thank you to everyone who contributed their valuable time and effort (and sometimes blood) for the All Hacks' cause. With our fairytale ending vanquished, we still have some unfinished business next year. So close yet so far...

STOP PRESS: With the recollection of our final match of the year firmly repressed, it's time to announce the All Hacks' Club Champion for 2003! In a close count, Ajay polled 103 votes to be the All Hacks' Best and Fairest for 2003. Congratulations Ajay!