The draw... The Gladesville Ravens have amalgamated their two summer soccer squads into one following a whole host of retirements. Playtime is now defunct, with Tex, Phil Mac, Adz and Chrissy Bryant moving to Happy Meals to join Will and Robbie, and Nico, Roids and Marty making their debuts in this elite competition. Keep right up to date with your favourite team's efforts right here, and keep yourself in the know by visiting www.members.optushome.com.au/cliffiej/soccer/index.html - and you thought our web address was long! Look out for last year's summer soccer page right here, where Meals were beaten semi-finalists. Remember you can click on the scoreline for a match report of the game. Isn't technology marvellous...
Happy Meals Grand Final no-show All Stars 3 Happy Meals 0 (09/03/2004) It was goodbye to the Morrison Bay San Siro this evening as the Happy Meals took on the All Stars in the Grand Final of the prestigious summer soccer competition. Meals, in their change green, black and white strips lined up with the usual formation of Marty in goal, Willie and Robbie at the back with Phil Mac marking, Nico and Chrissy in the middle and Tex and Roids up front. On a blisteringly hot evening, conditions were not suited to the running and harrying game adopted so effectively in the semi-final upset, and Meals were prepared to rotate their subs well, and try to conserve energy. The opening stanza saw Willie state his intentions, lining up a terrific shot that rose all the way to the underside of the bar and bounced down and out with the keeper beaten, a fully thirty yard strike from the midfield dynamo. Willie teased another shot in soon after, while Nico toiled down the left and Roids looked dangerous through the middle. Just as Meals were starting to assert their authority, with Chrissy Bryant firing just wide, disaster struck, with the All Stars danger man turning Robbie as if he wasn't there and racing through to finish perfectly into the bottom corner with Marty unable to provide any resistance to the stinging shot. Robbie was clutching the back of his leg soon after, whether it was an injury or whether the devastating pace of the attack had caused him to soil his shorts remains to be seen. One goal was all they would need, and the game slowed down to a pedestrian pace. One goal to nil at half time. The second half was three minutes old when Phil Mac was turned inside out by the All Stars attacker and was powerless to prevent another wondrous strike from hitting the net. From the kick off, Nico fed Tex, his ball to Phil was cut out as Meals threatened, and All Stars ran the length of the pitch unchallenged to score again, this time Marty getting close to it, but the ball dribbling over the line for three. The floodgates had opened, Chrissy Bryant then brought things up to the usual Ravens tempo by slicing down his man on the sideline, and then soon after escaping a red after clattering his man from behind. That was the signal for the Meals to start bickering between themselves. Roids began to dictate play by word only, while Robbie began to get frustrated and Willie had just had enough. There was time for one last attack with Roids shooting just wide with a curling left foot strike, before the final whistle brought the Grand Final to a close. So it was the All Stars that climbed the steps to the Royal Box and collected the Trophy, leaving Happy Meals to reflect on what a good season it had been. A season of promise, forfeits and washouts handing them second spot, but they had thoroughly deserved their finals berth, and will be back with a vengeance next year to snatch the trophy back from the mighty All Stars. Well done Meals. Man of the match : Phil Mac
Red-blooded Meals clinch Grand Final berth Brave Hearts 0 Happy Meals 1 (02/03/2004) A battling performance and a golden-goal deep into extra-time saw the Happy Meals book their ticket to Wembley for the Summer Soccer Grand Final next Tuesday. And what a pulsating game it was. Not surprisingly, a full complement was in attendance for the Happy Meals, and a healthy crowd was there to see whether the Meals could go one better than last year and sneak past the Brave Hearts, who had given them a footballing lesson earlier in the season. Marty was lining up in goal, still recovering from his foot injury, but passed fit, and a back line of Phil Mac, Robbie and Willie looked ready to deal with the aerial long-ball Wimbledon-style assault of their counterparts. Nico and Chrissy took the midfield roles, while Tex and Roids made themselves a nuisance in attack. And attack is what the Happy Meals did, right from the first whistle, with Tex carving out an opening for himself only to blaze over, which set a precedent, Willie repeating the feat some thirty seconds later after a crafty run as the Meals set their stall out. The long ball tactics of the Brave Hearts were in evidence right from the start, the lumbering forward causing trouble for Robbie and Phil whenever he got the ball, but the chances were restricted to snapshots and shots on the turn, which never troubled Marty. A free kick was hoisted well over by Robbie soon after, as Nico was unlucky to be brought down when tiptoeing quietly through the entire defence. Willie and Nico had their work cut out as Meals were stretched in the middle of the park, but kept the game under control, breaking out efficiently from the back with the cool customer Robbie and the energetic Phil Mac having particularly good games. The half time break came with the scores locked at 0-0. A tense second half was on the cards, and so it proved. Chances were few and far between - Brave Hearts were persisting with their monotonous long ball tactics, but still managed to carve out a couple of half chances, one meticulously saved by Marty at the near post with his feet, another chance flashing wide for a throw in when a goal looked likely. At the other end, Roids found space through the middle after good work by Robbie, the shot just going wide, Willie teed one up with his left that was smartly saved, and Nico had a chance, but he was reaching backwards and couldn't dig the shot out. Just as Meals were starting to control the game, with the impressive Brave Hearts rapidly tiring, a sharp attack saw the men in red burst through the middle, and Phil Mac was quick to react to snuff out the danger - he paid the price though, a flailing elbow readjusting his nose and leading to a premature exit for the Ravens defender, blood streaming from his crooked nose. Ravens were rocked, and had to be careful not to concede as they tried to readjust. Tex then latched on to a delightful cross field pass from Robbie to nonchalently volley into orbit; Chrissy Bryant was looking lively and looked to have been brought down chasing a hospital ball from Nico, the keeper out quickly to smother, and the final whistle saw the match in stalemate at 0-0. A moment to compose for the Meals before the restart, five minutes each way of golden goal extra time. The first half of extra time saw Marty make a great reaction save from a cracking shot from ten yards, pushing the ball out for a corner; and a series of dangerous free-kicks had the Meals worried. The black and whites had their chances though, Tex feeding Nico from a break away, with the perfectly weighted return ball wasted, with Willie better placed, the shot blazed way over the bar as Tex looked to have used up his shot quota for the evening. Robbie then wriggled through down the left and pumped in a cross-shot that forced a reaction save from the keeper, who almost put the ball into his own net. Half time in extra time, still 0-0. The second half of extra time saw Meals looking lively as Brave Hearts looked to have run out of ideas and run out of steam. Chrissy played in Tex down the right who drove in a vicious cross that Willie could only chest towards goal in Crespo fashion, before the moment that could and should have sealed the game for the Brave Hearts. Marty fielded a shot well and looked to throw out to Robbie - the ball though, was having different ideas and slipped out of his hand, straight to the striker who sized up the goal and wildly poked the ball wide when the goal was begging. Robbie was then lucky not to concede a penalty, doing well to race back to make the tackle, but maybe showing a little much force as he brought down the attacker as he shot. Brave Hearts then had a break away, Tex left exposed with two men to mark, but Willie galloped back to make the interception. Tex then moved up field in one last attempt to prise open the Brave Hearts defence, and sneaked into an acres of space in front of goal. Robbie had to double-take when he saw the space and threaded the ball through, Roids providing the perfect dummy; Tex took a touch, and placed a left foot shot under the goalkeeper for the ultimate golden goal and sent contrasting emotions through the two sets of fans. Sweet revenge after the goalkeeper had threatened to stab Tex at half time and Meals had done it! A golden goal at the death, booking a place at Wembley in the Summer Soccer World Cup Final, and what a fabulous performance and a diligent defensive display to win a very difficult semi-final. Stay tuned for the final next week, most likely a tricky fixture against the minor premiership winners All Stars, but possibly against the salmon boys of "Who?". Go the Meals!!! Man of the match : Willie Newton
Happy Meals breeze into Champions League Torpedos 0 Happy Meals 1 (17/02/2004) Happy Meals saved the best til last at the Morrison Bay San Siro this evening, treating their fans to an array of dazzling moves, staunch defending and inefficient finishing in their final league match of the season. A delayed start, due to a refereeing blunder in the preceding game, didn't dampen the mood, and a swirling wind couldn't spoil this important occasion. Torpedos were looking for a win to give them a fighting chance in next week's final round and they were clearly pumped. Happy Meals, forced into changes, started with the Italian Stallion Robbie Valpato in goal, Willie and Phil Mac at the back, Nico and Chrissy Bryant in the middle, and Tex hovering in his usual advanced midfield role behind the evergreen hitman Roids. Marty was sidelined with a foot injury. The game started with Meals shooting into the wind on a sandy surface, and they were straight on to the defensive, as over-eager man-marking left a huge gap down the left, but Torpedos were unable to convert. Once Meals got into their rhythm, though, they lit up the San Siro with some of the best play ever seen - Willie blasted over after a fifteen pass move, Roids had an effort deflected wide after a powerful run, Nico wriggled clear to force a smart save from the keeper, and Chrissy blasted a rising shot just over. Phil Mac was having a tussle with the last man, keeping his man in check with some uncompromising challenges, and he was aided and abetted by the reliable WIllie who was having an all action match. Willie was at the other end to set up Tex for a stinging shot just wide, and Roids almost fed Chrissy for a one-on-one, but the chance went begging on the bobbly surface. Meals were restricting their opponents to half chances, and their lighter-shirted central man was at the centre of most of their attacks, giving Robbie a close shave with his fist on one occasion and having a shot well charged down by the lively Nico. Half time was locked at 0-0, and with Meals with the wind in their favour in the second half, the Torpedos goal looked unlikely to remain intact. The second half indeed got off to a lively start, with Robbie being replaced in goal by Chrissy, and Willie was close to unlocking the Torpedos defence after a good run. It was Willie's persistence that led to the killer first goal, cutting inside to fire a stinging shot right into Tex's ample backside. Fortunately for Meals, the rebound fell to Nico who played in Tex, who shimmied inside in Beardsley fashion, and planted a low shot into the corner of the net for one nil. Meals were in command, and the beautiful game was on show; more precision passing saw Phil Mac tee up a shot which whistled wide; Nico teed up Robbie from a free-kick which, after some dithering, was flashed just wide. Roids then took the ball down the right and tucked the ball behind the dynamic decoy run of Willie for the incoming Tex who lashed a first time half volley inched over the bar. Roids was again busy down the right soon after, forcing the corner, and Tex broke down the right to set up Nico, but the chance was blocked. Surely Meals would score again, but there were tense moments at the other end as Chrissy was forced to push a shot over, and Meals weathered an intense two minute spell of Torpedo pressure, which culminated in the moment of the match as Willie brought down his man, but play was waved on for advantage; the player, however, decided he wanted a free-kick instead and ignored the ball in favour of berating the referee. Comical. The game was brought to a close soon after a trademark Robbie thunderbolt that scared some crows, the Meals victorious and delighted to have taken maximum points from a difficult game. The Happy Meals have therefore qualified for the Champions League in two weeks time, where it looks as though they will play the Bravehearts, a very difficult match after the three goal thumping earlier in the year. Stay tuned for all the action at your favourite web site. Go the Happy Meals! Man of the match : Texas Pete Smith
Woeful finishing costs Happy Meals dearly Happy Meals 0 All Stars 4 (03/02/2004) Happy Meals' unpredictable season took a twist yesterday as joint leaders All Stars pumped four goals past them without reply to snatch top spot and condemn Meals to their heaviest defeat in forty two years. It could have been so different. Happy Meals reverted to their most successful line-up, that of no reserves, so missing were Phil "Adz" Mac, to be replaced by Phil Mac, and Meals were also denied the, er, presence of Roids; the line up saw Marty 'Barthez' Tzikas in goal, sporting a new look, with Phil Mac and Robbie at the back, Willie and Nico in the middle of the park, and Tex and the soon-to-arrive Chrissy Bryant up front. The game was barely a minute old when a static Meals midfield left All Stars in with a chance down the right, and saw Marty rooted to the spot as the low shot nestled in the net. It was two within thirty seconds, as possession was gifted in midfield, and a quick counter break found Nico beaten for pace, and with Robbie stuck with two men to mark, it was another low shot that left Marty bewildered and again rooted to the spot. Meals then clicked up a gear, Phil Mac marauding down the left to good effect, and from one crafty move, he dinked inside and cracked a spinning shot which curled just over the angle of post and bar. Robbie found space through the middle to fire wide when the ball eventually squirmed on to his left, and Willie saw an effort fall just wide of the post. At the other end, Meals looked a lot more composed following a harrowing opening ninety seconds, but still had Marty to thank for throwing himself in front of a fierce shot as the All Stars threatened to run riot. With a much needed pit stop at half time to take on fluids in the tropical atmosphere over and done with, it was time to get to grips with the game and take it squarely to the All Stars. Willie started off proceedings with a thunderous effort that looked to have beaten the keeper, but the movement of the net was on the wrong side of the post. Chrissy was then unceremoniously chopped down in front of goal to win a free kick that was fired wide by Robbie, and tempers began to fray in both sides as Phil Mac was elbowed in the head and Chrissy was involved in a fracas with the surly defender. The killer third goal was not long in coming, and again, it was an attack down the right and a low shot which beat Marty at the far post. Happy Meals were less than happy by now, but were still on the offensive. Tex and Robbie closed down the last man effectively soon after, but the chance fizzled out, before Chrissy Bryant thumped in a shot which, while going wide, was controlled by Tex and lashed goalwards from a yard, only for the keeper to make an unlikely point blank save and preserve his clean sheet. Willie then had another chance from Nico's cross, which was hoisted high over the bar, before the fourth goal sank the last trace of a possible Happy Meals comeback. Phil Mac, who had been solid all game, was helpless to prevent the turn, and a blazing shot found the roof of the net for a super goal. Meals were demolished and the game was soon over, both teams having taken part in a fine game of summer soccer, and a performance from the All Stars that will strike fear into many a team so close to the finals series. No game next week due to White Magic's ejection from the Premier League for irregularities, so one more game to go before the finals, and it should be a good one against a Torpedos team desperate to avenge the slender defeat from earlier in the season. Man of the match : Phil MacNamara
More goals joy for Happy Meals Happy Meals 4 Who? 1 (27/01/2004) A quick-fire start and a poachers goal in the second half, sandwiched around a fifteen minute spell of "Who?" pressure, saw Happy Meals maintain their two match winning streak and move level at the top of the league with only three games to go. Almost a full contingent made it down to the Morrison Bay San Siro, with super-shot-stopper Marty in goal, Willie and Phil "Adz" Mac alongside Robbie "Mancini" Volpato at the back, Nico in the middle, and Chrissy, Tex and Roids providing the excitement up front. In a carbon copy of last week's match, Meals started with an absolute flourish, and two goals came in the first two minutes. First off, a scintillating move involving Willie and Nico ended with Roids in space, and he was able to drill the ball home with ease for a great goal. Route one Wimbledon FC style long ball tactics were then adopted for number two, Marty launching the long ball, Tex getting a flick on for Chrissy, who fired in an instant shot, which was saved well, but the rebound was lashed home for 2-0. Meals were on fire. However, this served only to stir the "Who?" outfit, who began to parade their silky close-control, and were soon to capitalise on a stray pass from Willie, the square ball leaving the centre forward totally unmarked for a good finish past Marty. Meals were then forced to defend for the remainder of the half, as swarm after swarm of "Who?" attack was thwarted, a great save from Marty touching one wide, and some woeful finishing keeping the score at 2-1. The half time whistle brought the solace of a much needed refreshment break before a tense second half. Meals started the second half much as they finished the first, on the back foot and defending in numbers to protect the slender lead. Marty had to be quick to remove the danger as the Meals defence stroked the ball around at the back a little too calmly, but for all their effort, "Who?" were unable to make their lions share of possession count. Just when Meals were thinking they wouldn't get another chance in the whole second half, a poachers special from that man Roids gave them an unassailable lead. Willie was the architect, teaming up with Roids and then Chrissy, who fired in a shot that was easily fielded by the keeper, only for the ball to squirm under his frame and trickle towards the line, where Roids had pounced like a leopard to nudge the ball into the net. Meals then found their feet, and began to motor; Tex shot wildly over when Willie was better placed, Roids fed Willie who found the side netting, and Robbie once again found 2 minutes of time-wasting with a ballooned effort over. Chrissy was on fire, and was determined to get a second, racing on to a Robbie pass to slot past the keeper for four one. There was still time for Willie to head one just over, and for Chrissy to meet a Nico cross sweetly to head for goal, with the keeper making a smart save. The whistle sounded, giving Meals all the points, and cementing their place in the Champions League series in four weeks time. Meals will be delighted with this result, coupled with a draw for high fliers Bravehearts, which leaves three teams locked together at the top, and "Who?" still in with a shout of the coveted fourth spot. Go the Meals!! Man of the match : Willie Newton
Happy Meals cruise to victory in Cup thriller XBox 2 Happy Meals 6 (27/01/2004) Meals fielded a weakened side for this hastily arranged cup encounter with old foes XBox, with Nico, Phil "Adz" Mac and Chrissy out, so Marty had a revised line up in front of him, with Robbie, Roids, Tex and Willie joined by loan star Phil, transferred from the opponents after four minutes. Details of the game are sketchy, but Meals took the game to their opponents, and raced into a commanding two goal lead; there was a period of pressure that brought the score back to 2-1, before Meals hit top gear and sealed the match with an array of classic goals, culminating in a debut goal from former XBox man Phil, who was immediately transferred back after the game. Roids was in the wars with an elbow in the chops drawing blood, and a studs up challenge leaving indents on his foot, but Meals came through the game unscathed and ready to face their main title rivals All Stars next week.
Happy Meals back to their best Happy Meals 4 XBox 1 (20/01/2004) Happy Meals returned to winning ways tonight, continuing a topsy-turvy sequence of results that has seen them denied top spot, and which gives them an even greater chance of semi-final action come the end of the season. Meals were fortunate to have the luxury of a substitute, with Chrissy Bryant out, Phil "Adz" Mac making an appearance despite being interstate on business. So Marty the cat lined up in goal with Robbie and Phil "Adz" Mac at the back, WIllie and Nico in the middle of the park, and Tex and Roids in the poaching roles up front. The weather was another tester for the players, and the referee stamped his authority before kick off by ordering several players to change their foot attire. Meals were instantly on the offensive, teasing XBox with a fluidity not seen at the San Siro since the days of Playtime, and Phil "Adz" Mac was closest to opening the scoring, first latching on to a cross from Roids to head just wide, then from the resulting corner, heading over from a tricky position. Willie thrashed one in that hit the post, but it wasn't long before Meals took the lead. Robbie, after vowing not to come over half way, found himself marauding through on his much-favoured left, latching on to a pass from Nico, and his single-mindedness left him bearing down on goal, slotting a lovely shot past the hapless keeper for a splendid opener. Robbie had a taste for goal, and shocked the San Siro soon after with a right footed effort that brought a good save from the keeper. It was one way traffic, with only some dangerously slow-motion defending from the Meals giving the bumper crowd an occasional flutter. A corner won fortuitously on the left led to a good cross from Nico which was cleared well by XBox; Meals were exposed and the counter attack was on, and a superb ball opened up the defence for the XBox man to fire in a cracker from twenty yards with Marty well beaten. Happy Meals were angry with themselves, letting a good lead slip, and it wasn't long before the half time whistle brought much needed rehydration. Willie immediately took the law into his own hands at the kick off for the second half - buoyed by not having a coach to tell him to sit back and defend, he raced to the last man who had received from the kick off, and closed him down with a trademark tackle. With Roids in attendance, a quick shimmy took him past his marker, and a low shot from fifteen yards fizzed across the turf and into the bottom left hand corner of the net for a superb second goal. Marty was called into action soon after, booting a ball off his line after a good raid by XBox, and had to be smart at his near post to thwart a subsequent attack. Phil "Adz" Mac was magnificent at the back, despite getting embroiled in another confrontation due to his no-nonsense defensive play. Roids was pulled up for a perfectly legitimate tackle soon after and let the referee know what he thought, but Happy Meals were not to be rattled, and soon carved out a wondrous third goal, Robbie to Willie down the left and with one-touch magic, in to Roids who took his time to finish with aplomb. And almost straight from the kick off, another raid by Willie saw Tex burst into space with Roids the decoy, and the inch perfect pass saw him run on and calmly slot home in Thierry Henry style from ten yards. Meals were ticking over nicely, and there was time for Robbie to come up with his customary once-per-match shot from halfway which bought a minute's respite as the ball sailed majestically over by 30 yards. Roids then ran on to a pass from Nico to set up a one-on-one with the keeper which was wasted, and Willie pulled one back for Tex to lash one in that was tipped over. XBox looked dangerous on the counter, but with Phil "Adz" Mac in sparkling form, there was nothing to worry about, and the final whistle brought joy and relief for the Happy Meals. The Mighty Meals have returned to a positive goal difference at just the right time, and so they should, being one of the title challengers. Stay tuned next week, as Who? look to take all the points in a hum-dinger at the Morrison Bay San Siro. Man of the match: Phil "Adz" MacNamara
Unhappy New Year for Happy Meals Happy Meals 0 Bravehearts 3 (13/01/2004) The mighty Happy Meals were given an absolute roasting in their first match of the new year at the Morrison Bay San Siro this evening, managing to turn their 75% possession into a three goal deficit with consummate ease. A full team was present for the Meals, Marty in goal, Willy, Phil and Robbie in the defensive roles, Nico, Chrissy, Tex and Roids making up the attack minded players, with even the watching Adz looking good for a game. The game started well for the Happy Meals, easily thwarting their less skillful adversaries, and mounting attack after attack down both flanks. Phil Mac had the first chance, shooting just wide after latching on to a pass from Roids, then Robbie flighted a beauty in for Tex to head goalwards from three yards, only to see the keeper tip over. An indirect freekick inside the box gave Meals a great chance after Willie had been fouled, Robbie touching on for Nico to blast into the side netting, while at the other end, Marty was squarely behind a rasping effort from the Bravehearts centre forward. Roids was unlucky to see his shot blocked on the line soon after, before Robbie squandered the chance of the half, latching on to a through ball from Tex, and deciding not to let rip on his unpredictable right foot, the chance going begging. Just as half time was coming to a close, the sucker punch came, a swift break from the Bravehearts slicing through the Meals defence and a terrific shot from theleft gave Marty no chance for 1-0. Meals were desolate at half time, inconsolable after a first half that they dominated. The second half began badly and just got worse. Willie lathed on to a great through ball from Roids to fire in a left footer that was fabulously saved after taking a slight deflection; the same man was on the spot again to fire in another effort that went wildly wide soon after. Chrissy Bryant was hauled down in a promising position, which gave Meals a good opportunity; after Nico and Robbie stood studying the ball for what seemed like a minute, Nico suddenly realised that he was the one touching the ball to Robbie, who took a side step and fired in a cracking effort that was parried by the goalkeeper. With Meals doing all the attacking, there was little in the way of defence being played, and they were caught out midway through the half, a break down the left seemingly squandered and pushed out wide, but as three defenders got back to cover, they all left the spare man free and he was left with a simple finish when the ball was rolled into his path. Meals were furious with themselves. Two down, so may as well go for broke; Roids almost John Barnesed through the middle from the kick off, eventually brought down for a free kick, then Tex took the ball down the right and flighted in a cross that was acrobatically blasted over from Willie; Willie was there again at the far post to fire over before the weight of numbers upfield finally told, Tex and Phil Mac unable to keep the three attackers at bay, and the ball was tapped in at Marty's near post from a yard. It was no more than Meals deserved, as their game crumbled into dissent and arguing amongst themselves, but all players had to stand and applaud the best moment of the game, Willie set clear by Robbie, but a last ditch tackle from the Bravehearts defender denied him, cleanly winning the ball with a crunching tackle that Willie himself would have been proud of. The final whistle saved Meals from a heavier defeat as players were camped in the Bravehearts half, and the referee gave his damning analysis of the Happy Meals: "Rubbish", And the Happy Meals could not argue. So Meals miss out on the chance to go top after the All Stars took a beating from the Torpedos, but remain well-placed as the run in to glory commences at the Morrison Bay San Siro. See you down there next week as XBox look to exact revenge for the slender defeat inflicted earlier in the season. Man of the match: Phil MacNamara
Happy Meals 2 Torpedos 0 (16/12/2003) With the Happy Meals now concentrating on their fight for the title following the shock FA Cup exit the previous week, victory was imperative prior to a four week Christmas break. Meals, sitting proudly in second place with only one defeat to show from five games, lined up with a determined looking Marty in goal, Phil Mac and Robbie at the back, WIlly and Nico in the guts and Tex plying his own brand of attacking flair up front. Roids was to appear just prior to kick off, looking for his first win in the famous black and white, while Chrissy Bryant also appeared to confound the medics and make his first start of the season. Making up the bumper crowd was ex-Playtime hero Dave Atkin and his recently acquired fiancee Anna, who were running the rule over the Summer Soccer Premier League, perhaps with a view to making a comeback to Australian Soccer in the future. And so Happy Meals were straight into the action, pressing forward at every opportunity, while maintaining their cool at the back and keeping a tight formation. Tex was the first to get in the action, played in by Roids for a great chance, but the left foot shot was cleared off the line. Willie was then sent through by an inch perfect pass from Robbie, but couldn't get the ball under control, the shot flashing wide. Then Robbie was in fine form down the right, jinking inside to set up the piledriver that rocketed over the bar. At the other end, Torpedos were shackled, but did manage one good foray, with the defence opened up like a tin of beans, but Marty stood tall and saw the shot balloon over. Phil Mac was having one of his busier games, holding up his man well to keep Marty inactive, while at the other end, a good move from Nico and Willie found Tex again, who drilled another left foot shot through a crows of players and against the legs of the keeper. Goalless at the break, Meals taking on fluids to combat the intense heat. The second half was under way in an instant, and Happy Meals were forced onto the back foot, a scintillating break down the left resulting in a cross that was wasted by the lively midfield maestro at the back post. Meals were again exposed, only for Tex to intercept at the near post, allowing Robbie to break quickly, and his slide rule pass found the rampaging Will bursting into the Torpedos half. Without hesitation, the ball was carried to within range and promptly dispatched into the goal for 1-0, a great strike. Roids then found space out right and crossed for Tex, who teed up Phil Mac for a thunderbolt, but the ball was lashed wide with a defender in attendance, and one nil looked to be the most likely outcome. Chrissy, looking a little jaded in his first appearance of the season, then bundled through the middle, past three men, only to be brought crashing to the ground for a free kick within striking range of the goal. With the fans in a frenzy of anticipation, Roids looked up, and with Laurent Robert-like accuracy, blasted the ball into the net for two. The game was won, Meals still pressed, and Robbie skied one over looking to kill time. The final whistle sounded, with Meals winning comfortably and looking every bit the title challenging outfit that was so absent last week in the FA Cup travesty. Meals now have the luxury of a four week break, with Christmas and a bye straight after, so there is time to add to the fitness that has already been achieved. Chris Bryant should be able to return to full fitness following his knee troubles, while Adz looks to return after a lengthy absence. Roll on 2004, the year of the Happy Meals. Man of the match: Will Newton
Happy Meals 0 Yeovil Town Reserves 2 (09/12/2003) A horror display from the Meals gave Yeovil Town Reserves the perfect preparation for their impending FA Cup match with Liverpool. With the original fixture against White Magic postponed and a 3-0 win awarded, Meals were looking to stamp their authority against their lowly opponents. Marty was missing, so Maz started in goal, Robbie, Will and Phil Mac were at the back with Roids, Nico and Tex in the roaming forward roles, while Chris Bryant once again missed out due to injury. Meals began the game with total indiscipline - Robbie and Roids finding themselves camped upfield, while hotshot Tex reverted to a defensive position to try and plug the gaps alongside Phil. The chances began to come, wave after wave of Meals attack. From one good attack, Nico played in Roids, who set up Tex for the lay off to Will who fired just over. Robbie then questioned the fans concentration by lashing a wild shot into the face of a sleepy spectator, sending his spectacles in a spin, and bringing the game to a halt for a couple of minutes. Phil Mac then came the closest for the Meals, sliding in a low shot that hit the post and bounced to safety, before Yeovil danced through a non-existent Meals defence to slot home a late first half goal. One goal to nil at the break, and worrying signs. The second half saw Meals fall apart, their lack of defence letting Yeovil in for a second goal following a quickly taken free kick after Maz had handled outside the box. Meals were on the offensive even more after that, WIllie missing a sitter after a slide rule pass from Roids, Tex bundling through a la Mick Quinn only to find the keeper with a close range effort, Roids ballooning over, and Robbie, who had an absolute shocker by his high standards, poked a shot miles wide, and shocked everyone by subbing up. There was even time for Phil Mac to have a low shot deflected wide and WIll to smash one just past the post, before a frantic ten minutes was brought to a close with a three on one chance at the other end, Willie eventually getting back to do enough to force the shot wide. The whistle went and the post mortem begins. Happy Meals have abandonned the close-passing defence minded style adopted in the opening rounds, in favour of a lacklustre lazy approach, adopted since the arrival of star signing Roids. Happy Meals will need their wits about them next week, as the Torpedos look to sink the ship and put paid to Happy Meals good start to the season; a serious rethink is required by the players, and a 200% improvement all round. Players will also be going shopping for new boots following a ruling by the comp leaders to ban anything that remotely looks like a stud. Man of the match : Phil Mac
Happy Meals robbed by referee blunder All Stars 2 Happy Meals 1 (02/12/2003) The debut of Con 'Roids' Hrysanthos was ruined this evening by an incredible myopic display by the man in yellow, awarding a goal that was absolutely nowhere near going in, leaving players and fans baffled and bringing a tidy Meals performance into the gutter. Happy Meals were looking at bare numbers at kick off, with Marty in goal, Will and Phil Mac at the back, with Nico and Tex playing in the guts and the new star signing Roids up front. The game was half a minute old when Robbie swelled Meals numbers to a healthy seven, and confounding the critics by forcing him into a minute on the subs bench before making way for Roids in the first interchange of the evening. Meals started on the front foot, Will lashing one in from distance, Roids teeing up Tex for an awkward left foot shot that fizzed wide, and Will again finding space out left, with the chance going begging. The All Stars seemed bemused by their opponents, taking the game to them, and looking incisive in attack. Nico was looking for the killer ball, and almost fed Roids, but the breakthrough came from an unlikely source, Roids raiding down the right and Tex timing his Lineker-esque run to perfection at the near post and nonchalently backheeling the ball, some might say inadvertently, into the goal with the keeper flummoxed. One nil Meals. The game was heading for a 1-0 half time score before the moment that turned the game, a good break by the All Stars caught Meals napping and a thumping shot crashed against the cross bar, with Marty getting the final touch and to safety. The referee, taking tips from Little Hitler in the indoor game some three weeks back, dumbfounded players and fans alike by awarding a goal, and not even a 1966 Russian linesman to help him make the wrong decision. Meals were visibly rattled, the All Stars laughing, and the continental European streak came out in the team, Will getting involved in a tussle right after the kick off, and earning himself a yellow card after a couple of cheeky jibes at Mr Magoo, The half time whistle went and Happy Meals, after berating the referee for the duration of the one minute break, came out in fiery mood. Marty, who had not had a great deal to do in the first half, was immediately called into action, saving point blank from the attacker and then nipping the ball out from under an All Stars man's feet to start up the attack once more. Phil Mac was having his usual rugged performance and was quick into the snappy challenge, whereas Roids, returning from a lengthy absence, was finding it tough going; Robbie began to float upfield a little more, giving All Stars the run of the Meals half, and it was from a quick break that the winner was snatched, a simple move resulting in a point blank effort giving Marty no chance. Meals in fightback mode then struck forward, Nico playing the ball in to Robbie, who lifted the ball with the deftest of touches over the keeper but over the bar, then Roids forced a good save from the All Stars keeper with a low shot from fifteen yards. Robbie picked up a yellow card for dissent; WIll almost picked up a second yellow for a kamikaze challenge on the wet surface. It was never going to be the Happy Meals day, although Phil Mac and Marty contrived to keep out a certain third All Stars goal, and the referee brought proceedings to a close, and stood back to accept the critical barrage from the Happy Meals players. He'll be embarrassed when he sees that one on Match of the Day tonight. Meals beaten by the odd(est) goal, and displaced from top spot by All Stars after the fancied "Who?" team were unceremoniously dumped by bottom club White Magic. Meals go second in the table, and must get their winning formula back in time for next week's 6pm showdown with White Magic. Man of the match: Will Newton
Happy Meals lap up the scraps in tense encounter X-Box 1 Happy Meals 2 (18/11/2003) A glorious evening down at the Morrison Bay San Siro saw Happy Meals looking to extend their unbeaten start to three games, and to keep another clean sheet. With the injury-prone Bryant brothers suffering from identical knee injuries, it was down to the same starting line-up as the previous week, with Marty in goal, Will, Robbie and Phil Mac at the back, Nico in the Beckham role, and Tex in the lone Gary Lineker role up front. The game started with Happy Meals opting to kick with the sun to their backs, and they were straight out of the blocks with a flurry of activity. Firstly Tex shot wide with a drilled effort from an acute angle, then opted to shoot when Will was racing through in support. Nico was having a tense tussle in the middle of the park, and was unlucky not to test the keeper when set away down the left by Will. Phil Mac then went on a run down the left which Tex helped on to Will, but the chance was gone. RObbie was having a blinder at the back, stopping almost everything, and when the shots did come in, Marty was equal to them. The breakthrough finally came when Tex was fouled, Nico played the freekick quickly and Willy ran in to half volley the ball sweetly past the keeper from 15 yards. A piece of Newton goal magic, long overdue in a Ravens shirt. The score at half time was a quite justified 1-0. The heat was taking its toll on the Happy Meals, and the second half they looked ragged. As the half wore on, the long ball tactic was failing, leaving the X Box team to attack at will. Marty was glad to watch a fizzer hit the top of the bar and watch Phil Mac clear a good chance, before the equaliser came, a rasping effort from the left just beating Marty's dive and nestling into the corner of the net. That goal was the spark that Robbie needed, abandoning his defensive duties to partner Tex up front, and it was from a long ball by Will that Robbie found Tex with the header, the solid front man take the ball down and rasp in a shot. The goalkeeper could only parry straight to Robbie who made no mistake from two yards for the second Meals goal. Nico then blasted a freekick which was tipped away by the keeper, and Tex used his 'pace' to beat two men to fire just over. Phil Mac was keeping everything out at the back, and distributing well, giving Happy Meals an extra dimension. Marty made a smart save to keep the scores at 2-1, and Will just failed to connect to a header at the other end, before the referee brought the game to a close with the light fading. Meals unbeaten with two wins, and a draw from their bye, moving into the top half of the table and looking for a good display next week to keep the momentum going. Man of the match : Robbie Valpato Happy Meals 1 Brave Hearts 0 (11/11/2003) The first game of the season following the first round bye, and a new look Happy Meals outfit looked to put last season's semi-final disaster behind them and start off with a bang. The early kick off, to ease crowd congestion at the Morrison Bay San Siro, gave Happy Meals instant selection problems with the Bryant brothers out of contention; this meant Happy Meals debuts for Marty in goal, Nico Christou in midfield, and the two close season transfers from the now defunct Playtime, Phil Mac, in a defensive role, and Texas Pete in the lone attacker. Last year's superstars Robbie and Will returned to action to play pivotal; roles in defence as Happy Meals adopted a 3-1-1 formation, with no substitutes. The opposition, Brave Hearts, looked in similar early season shape to Happy Meals, carrying almost an extra 100kg between them, and were all at least six foot tall, making the aerial threat a reality; Happy Meals though were to settle down into their own brand of patient approach play and neat passing. The first chance of the game was to fall to Brave Hearts, Marty tipping the ball around the post from an acute angle. Tex then raced on to a pass from Robbie only to blast wide, but then the breakthrough came when WIll and Robbie hassled well in midfield and the ball broke to Tex, who sprinted clear of the last man, drew the keeper and touched the ball past him into the empty net for 1-0. Happy Meals were firing on all cylinders. Brave Hearts, with substitutes 'a volonte', then began a siege on the Happy Meals goal, with Marty forced into another important save, and Phil Mac performing heroics in front of him. The half time whistle was a godsend, the Happy Meals taking on fluids to combat the searing heat. The second half began with a flourish from the Happy Meals, Tex forcing a save from the Brave Hearts keeper after they had committed men forward, then Will leapt like a rainbow trout to head just past the post. Tex then fed Nico in fromt of goal who couldn't force the ball out from under his feet. Tex was then fouled to give Meals a good chance from a dangerous freekick; Nico and Robbie made a dogs dinner of the free kick though, and the chance was gone. Phil Mac found himself in uncharted waters just outside the box but was closed down, while at the other end, wild finishing from Brave Hearts was costing them dearly, with shot after shot finding the car park and wasting time. With Happy Meals almost on their knees in the 35 degree heat, the referee brought play to a halt, the Meals starting the season off with a fabulous win and posting their intentions for Premier League supremacy. A special mention to Adz for making it to the game with 30 seconds to go, and failing to get changed before the referee blew the final whistle! Man of the match : Texas Pete Smith
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