Rebels bruised and battered

All Blacks 8 Ryde Rebels 0 (26/02/2003)

With the Rebels being runners up to the Falcons for the last two years, with scorelines of 0-1 and 1-2 in the previous finals, they were confident of perhaps causing an upset.

This feat seemed almost impossible on fight night as the irrepressible force of Texas Pete pulled out due to pre marital commitments and star mid-fielder Shaun Maple was reported to have failed a drug test prior to kick off.

This left the Rebels with no reserves, fielding the run on side of Percival in goals, Matt and Joel at the back with Ross and Nick to provide the invention up front. After about 10 seconds it was 1-0, after a falcon lost his defender to slam in a shot which neither Percival nor Joel sore. It went that fast. The Rebels regrouped and started stringing a few passes together and ruffling the feathers of the much fancied Falcons. They did start to get the better of them, but a cruel blow was struck just before the break as the Falcons extended their lead to 2.

The Rebels refused to give up, but as soon as the third goal went in mid way through the second half, they knew their day was done. As the Rebel's legs started to tire, the Falcons went into party mode, rattling in another 5 before the final whistle sounded. 8-0 may sound like a flogging, but against a team containing 5 Australian indoor players and a reserve bench as long as Ross's arm, the Rebels could hold their heads high, especially considering they played with only the bare minimum.

On a brighter note the battered fish and dim sims afterwards tasted great and were washed down with a few cleansing ales. 

Thanks to all for a great season

Man of the match : Texas and Shaun for having the sense not to show up 

Rebels roar into the grand final

Armenia Rovers 1 Ryde Rebels 2 (19/02/2003)

A new word entered the Ravens dictionary tonight as Ravens found a new attribute - resilience. A difficult task against a spritely Armenian team brimming with confidence, and who had brought their legions of fans and a full complement of players.

Missing from the line up were, as usual, Georgie V, who is busy working on his Premier League Reserves coaching tactics, and Shauny, who was out injured, so it was the core of the squad that turned out - Perce in goal, Joel and Matty the defensive playmakers, Zorby the pivot in midfield, Tex lumbering up front and Roscoe pulling the strings. The fans who had just witnessed a gruelling encounter between No Names and the All Blacks must have been surprised at the change of pace in the first period of this game, with Rebels playing their usual waiting game, prowling like hungry tigers waiting to pounce on the slightest mistake. Mistakes however were very hard to find, as Armenia stuck to their game plan and played a very similar game to the Rebels. Mr High Shorts in defence was outstanding for them, and their tricky right midfielder was a source of much malaise in the Rebels camp. However it was Rebels who fashioned the first clear cut scoring opportunity, Tex finally managing to wriggle past his man and dink a shot past the keeper which hit the post leaving Zorby with the task of steering the ball into the empty net. With Ryan Giggs setting a precedent at the weekend however, the ball somehow found itself in the side netting and the chance went begging. To be fair it was quite an acute angle. Rebels forced a series of corners which couldn't fashion a goal, while at the other end Perce was in fine form, touching a shot around the post from a close range effort and commanding his area well. The North Ryde Theatre of Dreams was then brought into turmoil by a ridiculous decision by the referees, who had penalised Matty for a handball a minute earlier, this time a whipped cross from Joel clearly handled in the area with Tex waiting to lash the ball somewhere near the goal, but nothing was given. Uproar at half time then and some angry words exchanged with the match officials.

The second half was a slightly more open affair, but the chances remained at a premium. Armenia had a free kick comfortably dealt with by the Rebels rearguard, but it was a defensive mix up that was to ultimately lead to the first goal of the night, and it was the Armenians who were going to take the lead. A clever piece of work from Mr High Shorts, saw Tex leave the runner to Joel who in turn had left it to Tex and when they both did eventually get into gear, the man was almost clear on goal. Despite the attention of Tex, the ball found its way underneath Perce and into the bottom corner for one nil. Disaster. Not long after though, it was 1-1 and a clever piece of play from Zorby, jinking down the left, set up Roscoe for a low drive and a great equaliser. Rebels were back in it. Heads started to get steamed up thereafter, with some choice words being voiced and the fans were loving every minute of it. Zorby then was very fortunate to remain on the field after clinically chopping down his man who was racing in unchallenged on goal. That important piece of play effectively sealed the full time score of 1-1 and a five minute each-way period of Golden Goal extra time with penalties looming. Armenia had the first opportunity from a free kick which sailed over, and they managed to beat Roscoe to the window hit with a wild shot, before Perce pulled off the save of the game; a throw out to Tex was controlled, but Tex was hassled off the ball and with Rebels stranded upfield, the clear shot on goal looked goalbound until Perce reached out with his left hand and pushed the ball wide. Glorious. And so with the next move, it was Rebels who sewed up the golden goal, a rasping effort from Roscoe that nestled sweetly in the top left hand corner with the keeper watching in despair. Rebels had done it, and arms were raised in triumph. A great night for the Rebels, a super team performance and they managed to keep their heads when the going got tough. 

And so to next week when a 7.45pm kick off sees the All Blacks take on the Rebels in a repeat of last years Grand Final. Rebels will have to pull out all the stops to condemn the All Blacks to their first defeat ever, and the fans will be there in force to see it. Come down and watch - free food and grog after the game! 

Man of the match : Roscoh Roscocovich

Finals fever grips Ryde Rebels

No Names 1 Ryde Rebels 2 (12/02/2003)

Here we go!!! Rebels put the icing on the cake tonight, escaping the uncoveted fourth spot to clinch second place and a meeting with tricky customers Armenia Rovers in the semi finals next week. But it was definitely not all plain sailing as the No Names team delivered a tough encounter filled with controversy.

Rebels lined up with the bare minimum five at the whistle, Perce looking for his second clean sheet in a row, Zorby back from his self-imposed exile to slot in with Tex and Matty, while Roscoe and Joely were as usual running late after some extra-curricula training at the North Ryde gym. And the game looked for all intents and purposes like a tense affair with both teams knowing that defeat would see them find a finals spot against the mighty NZ All Blacks in the semi-finals. Tackles were tough and the Rebels began to get a little stroppy as usual - once or twice Matty took to the floor after very slight challenges, while the No Names players reverted to their rough tactics of uncompromising tackling from behind. Controversy early on when Perce rushed out of his goal to combat a No Names foray and may or may not have got a hand to the ball, and from the ensuing breakaway for Rebels, a hand was used in the box which could and should have resulted in a penalty kick. The wig-borne referee on the spectators side was having a mare, infuriating both sides with some contentious decisions, but just as things looked as if they would boil over, up stepped Roscoe to blast a free kick around the wall and with the aid of a deflection, into the bottom left hand corner of the net. A super strike. Rebels hung on to the end of the first half as No Names pressed, and 1-0 was a fair reflection on the play.

With Rebels benefitting from two subs for only the third time this season, this kept the workforce fresh, and Rebels never looked in danger of surrendering their lead, that was until a slack piece of play in midfield left Perce exposed and despite the attentions of Joel at the back, he was beaten with a superb strike into the corner of the net for 1-1. The game really was hanging in the balance. Almost from the kick off Shaun found himself clear and with almost an open goal, but after hearing a very odd shout from the referee, he stopped, and despite getting the ball through to Matty when he realised the whistle had not gone, the chance went begging. No Names then had a player sent off after some choice words to the referee after a free kick was awarded to the Rebels, and the No Names players really showed their true colours, indiscipline and uncouthness. Tex had a great chance after Roscoe and Zorb had worked an opening but his right foot turned to jelly at the wrong moment, so it was left to Zorb to get the killer goal, a dinked ball from Roscoe giving him a very difficult chance which he did well to hit straight at the keeper, through his legs and across the line for 2-1. Glory glory. There was time for Perce to stop two long range efforts and for Shaun to have one clawed off the line, but there was no time for an equalising goal as the game remained at 2-1 and the final whistle was welcome.

Rebels climbed into second with that win, ahead of Armenia Rovers in third, with No Names dropping to fourth. So it's Armenia v Rebels next week at 8.30pm preceded by the other semi-final No Names vs All Blacks. Stay tuned for some more rip roaring game action from the 2002/2003 futsal season as it reaches its climax.

Man of the match: Matty Roberts

Rebels romp as star man goes AWOL

Germany 'B' 0 Ryde Rebels 14 (05/02/2003)

Ryde Rebels flexed their muscles at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams tonight, cementing their place in the finals with a comprehensive drubbing of a German side bereft of talent beyond their goalkeeper, and who could not come to terms with the onslaught.

Rebels themselves looked to start the game short of numbers, with only Perce, Matty, Tex and Joely showing up five minutes before kick off, but Shauny popped up at the last moment to give Rebels a round figure of five players. Roscoe was absent due to a foot injury picked up in an international match the day before, Georgie V had better things to do with his time, while Zorby caused uproar by going AWOL, failing to show up, setting tongues wagging amongst the fans; rumours are circulating of a bust up between some of the players, just like in real football, but they were quashed by the management team tonight.

And so Rebels went in to the game, wearing their shirts this time after Germany had found a set of white shirts from somewhere, knowing that without their star midfield dynamo making things tick and handing out sound advice, they would have to rely on the rest of their stars for inspiration. Inspiration was in fact oozing from the Rebels, and, without going into so much detail about every goal, it was a net-busting bonanza, with only the vivacious Oliver Kahn coming between Rebels and a ten goal half time lead. A superb piece of play from Joel and Shaun carved open a goal for Matty, then a piece of Bergkamp v Leicester City magic from Matty set up Tex for a simple goal, Joel lashed in a couple and Shaun chipped the goalkeeper from his own half, and Matty rasped in a bomb from twenty yards. Tex managed to spurn a couple of chances as Kahn made himself big, but it didn't matter at all as the goals continued to rain in, as Joel took command from a corner, feeding Shaun for another simple finish. Matty got chopped down in a one on one in his own half as the German keeper made a run for it, and tempers threatened to fray for one split second, but it was eight at half time, and with Germany B having gone down to four men following a clumsy piece of play midway through the half leaving their forward to limp out of the game, it was plain sailing.

Perce was still on tenterhooks as he watched the game, knowing that he was on the verge of a first ever futsal clean sheet, and knowing full well that one chance for the Germans could mean the end of his dream. As it turned out, his only save was a tip over from a long range effort that was going well over anyway, and he commanded his box like Peter Schmeichel. At the other end it was a chance for the onlooking Gladesville Ravens management team to run their eye over their attacking options as chance after chance was created. One of the six second half goals took so long to finish off, with Shaun, Matty and Joel playing triangles around the goalkeeper, that they nearly got themselves in a tangle. Tex wasted two clear cut chances by screwing the ball wide after forgetting the basics (ie looking at the ball when you hit it), while the goalkeeper was almost found wanting after wandering from his goal, with Matty unfortunate not to find the net from his own half and Tex chipping in a tame effort which was easily dealt with by the defender on the line. Joel finished off his hat trick with a clinical low shot, while Shauny racked up about seven goals, as the good old toe poke was found to be the most effective way past Kahn in the German goal. Tex tried his best to keep the score down even further, getting in the way of a Joely thunderbolt, and his arse was used to good effect at the other end too, getting in the way of a couple of long range efforts from the Germans. The German 'B' team in fact ran out of ideas, and ended up camped in their own half, and more often than not kicking off every two minutes. The final whistle was welcome as the goals started to dry up and Rebels began to waste more and more chances, but it didn't come before the miss of the match, Tex squaring to Shauny, open goal, no keeper, and hitting the bar.

So the game ended with Perce punching the air (on the inside anyway) after having achieved the first clean sheet in two seasons, Tex shaking his head in disbelief after wasting ten clear cut chances, and Shauny trying his best to remember how many he scored. Rebels are into the finals, there is no doubt about it. The chances are that they will be playing the mighty No Names, and they'll get a good look at them next week when the two teams go head to head in the final round of the season. No Names stuck three past Rebels in the first half of the season, so the onus is on the Ryde boys to get one up on their adversaries before the finals series gets underway. Well done Rebels. Missing star Zorby is tipped to return next week when his mood his simmered, and Georgie V and Roscoe will be there with bells on come the finals. Rebels will need to have all guns blazing to clinch the championships. 

Man of the match : Shauny Shearer

Rebels given a big fright

Armenia Rovers 2 Ryde Rebels 2 (29/01/2003)

On a hot and sweaty night at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams, Ryde Rebels arrived en masse to finally boast a full team including two subs, with only superstar Georgie V absent, and also bolstered by an ever-growing fan base.

That meant that Rebels were fielding their strongest team of the season so far, Roscoe coming back into a line up that included Perce in goal, looking for clean sheet number one, Joel and Matty, Shauny, Tex, and Zorby. The game started off at the usual Rebels slow pace, with every man marked and nothing much happening up front. When the game still hadn't produced an attack of note after five minutes, the fans and the players alike began to grow restless. Joely was commanding at the back, while Perce had to be on his toes to thwart the Armenian strike force as they threatened to break, but it was a piece of magic from Roscoe that opened the scoring, set away by Joely down the left he cut in and fired a low shot in off the goalie's nuts for one nil. The goalkeeper was then down on his knees for at least two minutes as play was held up, as he fished around to see if they were still there. Joely then conjured up something special, set up by Roscoe, jinking inside to fire a right foot shot against the post, while Shauny went very close after being set free, only for the keeper to smother his effort on the line. The game was heading for a 1-0 scoreline at half time when Roscoe was adjudged to have fouled his man just outside the box, and from the ensuing free-kick, the player curled the ball viciously around the wall and into the only spot that it could have gone, beyond the reach of Perce and into the net for 1-1. Armenia were elated as the half time whistle sounded.

Rebels regrouped at half time and began to apply the pressure, but the signs were there that their somewhat misguided temperament was fraying at the edges. Matty picked up a booking for saying something to the ref, while Tex was penalised for an alleged elbow in front of the referee. Roscoe then found himself free in the area and when the ball in from Zorby eluded the goalkeeper, there was only one result from one yard and an empty goal, yes, Roscoe went for the window and booted the ball into the heavens; it was a difficult chance all the same. Soon after Roscoe made amends with a clinical piece of finishing from ten yards, lashing the ball into the bottom right corner of the net when freed by Shauny, to make it 2-1. Tex jinked his way past his man down the right to fire into the side netting, before the game took another twist, a suicidal piece of midfield sloppiness gifting the Armenians the ball and despite having rounded Perce it took three of their players to force the ball over the line with Joely in attendance. The Rebels heads went down and the game descended into the usual farce when the chips are down, but to their credit Rebels did hold firm, and they had Perce to thank for a Banks-esque wonder save late in the game, a one handed tip over, while at the other end the trademark toe poke from Zorby almost deceived the keeper for a winner. In the end it was a case of two points lost for the Rebels as they search for a top three place, with the poisoned chalice of fourth spot the last position anyone would want to finish in the table, with a match against the All Blacks the prize.

Rebels have a chance to make amends next week with an 8pm kick off against Germany 'B' who looked dangerous against the Geezer Teeth in tonight's early game. Come on the Rebels!!

Man of the match : Percincello Perconaldinho

Rebels in eighth heaven

Ararat Cosmos 2 Ryde Rebels 8 (22/01/2003)

Rebels finally got back into action after a lengthy Christmas break and were soon showing glimpses of the power that brought them to within a whicker of winning last season's trophy.

Back in the team after a spell on the injury list was Matty Roberts, lining up alongside top shot stopper Perce in goal, El Captino Joel, Zorby, Shauny and Texas Pete. Missing for yet another week was Ravens reserve grade coach Georgie V and Roscoe was on the sidelines to cheer on the boys having just stepped off the pitch in an international game in town. And so it was down to business, and Ararat were looking to avenge the slender 2-1 reverse earlier in the season, fielding a full strength team bedecked in their natty Parma strip of blue and yellow. Rebels made sure that they would dictate the pace of the game by taking the sting out of the game in the opening exchanges, and the paying public began to grow impatient as the game had bore draw written all over it for the first eight minutes. Perce was the first called into action, smothering a close range scramble with Matty forcing his man into the shot, but Tex settled the nerves with a smashing turn and shot following a beautifully floated Matty through ball, the ball sailing past the stranded Ararat keeper. Zorby and Joely were beginning to tick, and they set the alarm bells ringing in the Ararat ranks with some delightful interchange play down the right, which led to Zorby cashing in with a smart finish right in front of goal for two. The goal-per-minute period continued soon after with Tex ignoring all pleas to pass, shooting into the top right hand corner of the goal with a Mirandinha special for three, then it was time for another piece of wizardry from Joely, finishing off a flowing move by placing a Zorby square ball deftly into the goal with the keeper given no chance. Any other team may have taken the foot off the gas at this point, but Shauny was having none of it, pouncing on yet another Zorby through ball to rattle a fifth, and it was Zorby himself who, with options on either flank with the Ararat defence in disarray, elected to toe poke a shot from distance which surprised the keeper and bounced off the uneven surface into the goal. Six goals to nil, and the half time whistle sounded with Rebels on cruise control, in the fast lane, and with Perce's first clean sheet in their sights.

So to the second half after a quick turnaround, and once again, Rebels started slowly, and in a passage of play not unlike the first eight minutes of the first half, shut up shop and goaded their opponent into attack. Much to Perce's surprise however, attack they did, and midway through the half, it was 6-1, with a clever finish after a lucky deflection had squirmed the ball into the Rebels area. Disaster. Rebels then decided that attack was the best form of defence and as the Ararat defence began to look ragged, started an all out assault on goal. Joel found himself free after great play by Shauny and Zorb had created the gap and his finish was all class as he netted his second with a well placed shot. No sooner had that goal gone in than it was 7-2, Tex getting his ample frame in the way of a breakaway, but powerless to stop the shot rifling into the bottom corner. Rebels then started to anger their fans by being wasteful and being under-greedy, Matty playing one pass too many instead of lashing the ball home, while Zorby caused havoc down the left and Shauny lashed one against the post. Tex shot wide after a burst down the left, then spurned his hat-trick with a pathetic left foot shot which gave Zorb a fright as it bounced back at him on the rebound, but it was left to the hero of the night Joely to finish off the scoring - Matty received the ball in the centre, played the ball out to Zorby who delivered a perfect one-two into Matty's feet; the difficult surface produced another bobble to send the ball under Matty's foot (or was it a dummy?), but there was Joely with all the time in the world to lash the ball in with the sweetest finish for 8-2. The final whistle went soon after. Rebels had proved themselves to be first class with a great start to the year and a great omen for the future matches to come.

Be there next week 8.30pm at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams to see if Rebels can stretch their unbeaten run to seven games with a difficult game against Armenia Rovers.

Man of the match: Joel Hardaker

Rebels destroy the Geezers

Geezer Teeth 2 Ryde Rebels 7 (11/12/2002)

A strong, fit, healthy and powerful Rebels team was on display at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams tonight, fresh from their weekend training camp on Magnetic Island, and they left their Cockney counterparts completely thunderstruck after a whirlwind display of high octane futsal.

Missing three of their influential players, Matty Roberts with a pulled Zorbstring, Shauny with a bit of Delhi Belly and Georgie V due to international commitments, it was the core of the nucleus of the foundations of the squad that took to the field, in the knowledge that they had no subs to allow them to catch their breath in between forays. Perce was back in goal after conveniently missing the last game, Joely had recovered from a mystery illness to join Tex, Roscoe and Zorby for what looked like a tricky encounter against a hard running East London Queen's Select.

Rebels were, however, to get the first goal in what was a frenetic opening, and it was an absolute beauty, Zorby latching on to a Joely pass to slot the ball home into the net past the advancing keeper. Roscoe went close with a rasping effort, Tex hit the post after an unselfish piece of play by Zorb, before an equaliser came against the run of play, a superb move and a great finish low past Perce to make it 1-1 and send the Barmy Army wild. Rebels, however, were not going to let that slip up cost them, and were immediately back in front with a smash and grab goal from Roscoe, drilling the ball home from a cleverly taken free kick by Joel. Roscoe added to the Geezer's agony with another superb finish and Rebels threatened to go even further ahead, with Zorb hitting the other post and Joel going close again. Three one up at the break, but Rebels were definitely struggling with the conditions and running out of legs, not helped by some corking tackles from their uncompromising opponents.

Rebels stepped up another gear in the second half, Joel capped off a fine move with a deft finish for four, then Roscoe drilled in his hat-trick with a great deal of aplomb. The grabbing, holding and hacking tactics employed by the Londoners was getting to the Rebels, but the referees were making it easy by stopping the game frequently for unnecessary freekicks. Roscoe went in for one severe tackle only to come out second best, while there were injury worries for Zorby and Perce. Perce made a smart save from a thundering shot midway through the second half, and his vision and distribution was causing all sorts of trouble at the other end. Just as passes started to go astray and tired crosses started to find nothing but touch, it was six, a clever piece of dummy running from Joely at the far post taking the whole team, the referees and half the supporters with him, leaving Zorby to play Tex in for a simple goal. There was time for Rebels to gift a second consolation goal as the England Boys looked to improve their goal average, a low shot giving Perce no chance, before the goals feast was topped off with a great move - Joely on the end of it in true Gary Lineker style, and maybe aided by the defender, crashing the ball into the goal for seven. The game came to a close with the Rebels players gasping for air, but they had done the hard yards and had their reward for a tough and testing half hour of top quality Rebels soccer. Rebels now move into a commanding position just behind the the leaders and go into the Christmas break looking strong for a top two finish and a spot in the Grand Final series. Stay tuned for news of the next fixture in 2003. 

Man of the match : Sheriff Roscoe

Rebels enter the House of Fun

Ryde Rebels 0 Sydney Falcon All Blacks 6 (04/12/2002)

Welcome to the Lions Den... A six goal drubbing at the hands of the current champions. The Rebels were outplayed, outfought and outscored in a demolition job at the North Ryde Theatre of Screams, despite boasting their strongest team of the season. Only Perce was absent, leaving Aman to fill the ample gap in goal, and with Matty still unlikely to return for some time with a hamstring injury, the Rebels boasted a seven man squadron of troops to march into the fiery cauldron.

Goal one, two minutes gone, a thrilling move, toe poked home from ten yards after Rebels gave the spare man an extra millimetre. Goal two, a slick passing move and a tasty finish, Aman given no chance. Goal three, route one, toe poker again, this time in the top right hand corner of the net at speed. Goal four, simple stuff turned in from the right with not a Rebels defender in sight. Four nil at half time, but there were bright moments from Shaun up front and Roscoe out wide. Zorby looked lively, Joely slipped around in his ballet shoes, Georgie V swept the ball around comfortably while Tex made up the numbers and tried to sit out the majority of the half. Rebels had four shots on goal, whereas Falcons had four goals on the board, and had Aman to thank for some athletic saves to keep the score down.

The second half was just as desperate, a two goal flurry making it six before Rebels started to get into gear, Shaun rasping one into the side netting and Zorby doing some disco dancing down on the byline. Joel almost swore at his shoes as another slip almost cost a seventh, but as hard as Roscoe and Zorby tried to conjure up a consolation goal, it was not to be, and an embarrassing third defeat to the All Black Falcons was inflicted. A call may go out to the rejuvenated Ravens men Bradley and Willy, both on a hot goalscoring streak, as Rebels look to bounce back in next weeks thrilling installment. 9pm be there. Post Magnetic Island, there could be fireworks, especially with all-mouth no-trousers Geezer teeth in opposition.

Man of the match : you must be joking.

Rebels show true grit...

No Names 3 Ryde Rebels 3 (27/11/2002)

Ryde Rebels staged a dramatic finale to a pulsating match at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams, causing their legions of fans heart attacks along the way, but coming out with a hard fought draw. 

Coming into the side were Georgie V, after a lengthy absence to replace playmaker Matty Roberts, and Shauny, making a long awaited debut after guesting at many a training match, and they joined the usual suspects: Perce in goal, looking for his first clean sheet of the season, Joel at the back with Roscoe and Tex trying to feed off the invention of the mercurial married man Zorb. The opening exchanges were to set the scene for an absorbing first half; No Names boasted a Neil Ruddock character at the back, the German world cup star Oliver Kahn in goal, and a midfield of such verve and invention that he made David Beckham look sluggish, and it was he who started off proceedings, pouncing on a slack pass from Tex to fire agonisingly wide if the goal with Perce exposed. Passes were going astray from the Rebels, Joely and Shaun guilty of giving the ball away cheaply, and No Names appeared to read their every move like a book. When Rebels did get going, they found Oliver Kahn in his usually solid form, and it began to look as though Rebels were in a spot of trouble. And so it was that No Names took the lead, during a busy Rebels period, with a breakaway goal and a neat finish past the advancing Percival - one nil. And one nil at the break with Rebels unable to get out of first gear, despite some clever play from Georgie V down the left and a couple of corners that caused panic in the No Names defence.

Rebels regrouped at half time and came out looking for an important equaliser; Shaun, coming to terms with the mood of the game, began to get involved a lot more, while Zorby looked menacing in the target man role. Just as the Rebels engine began to purr, it was back to square one with a disastrous piece of defending, Roscoe caught in possession inside the No Names half, leaving Tex with two men and he was helpless to prevent a simple side foot finish after a neat one two. Rebels found themselves three down soon after, one of a series of free kicks won by the darting midfielder was powered over the wall and onto the bar, onto Perce's outstretched hand and into the back of the net. Such was Rebels luck up to that point. There were signs of Rebels losing their rag, but once they had calmed down, it was time to roll up their sleeves and prove themselves as one of the league's main contenders. And it was back to basics too, a simple piece of play from Zorby, who drilled a cross to Tex who had lost his marker and, just as Lineker did in the 86 World Cup, poked home what proved to be an important goal. Rebels could sense the tide turning, and after a tough passage of play littered with fouls and niggles, it was all of a sudden back to three two, Shaun rifling in a shot from way out which Kahn, with memories of the final in Japan, fumbled, and the ball trickled the required millimetre over the line. Roscoe made sure that the German keeper lost his temper too, wrestling with him for the ball, and it was all set for a Grandstand finish. Shaun couldn't believe it when he sliced wide when he should have buried one cutting in from the left, and Zorby and Roscoe were peppering the No Names goal. Then, just as Perce had saved a certain goal, a dramatic piece of refereeing gave Rebels the chance to score the third. The second ref, renowned for sending three Ravens players off in a match during the 2001 season, was struck by a momentary loss of sanity, adjudging Kahn to have wasted time kicking the ball out, when he should have thrown. Instead of the retake, it was deemed a professional foul, and Shaun was there to sweep in the equaliser from Zorby's pass around the wall. Glory glory Ryde Rebels. The remaining minute saw the crowd urge Rebels to victory, but a fourth goal wouldn't come, and to be fair would have been a little unjust on the No Names team who gave a terrific account of themselves.

Well done Rebels, now we have to take on the league leaders and champions elect Sydney Falcon New Zealand All Blacks, and look for revenge for the five and six goal thrashings earlier in the season. Encouraging signs tonight that, while Rebels missed the slick passing of Matty Roberts and Roscoe was marked out of the game, they could show the character to get back from a heavy deficit and force a creditable draw.

Man of the match : Nicholas Zorbas

Rebel rampage at North Ryde...

Ryde Rebels 7 Germany 'B' 2 (20/11/2002)

It was a return to Greco-Roman Olympian times at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams as a dramatic last minute decision by the referee led to the Ryde Rebels playing this difficult fixture without their shirts. Germany 'B', playing in the same royal blue as the Rebels, were deemed to be the uglier team, leaving Rebels stripped to their bare naked skin to play a difficult 28 minutes in testing hot conditions.

The team was stripped once again to its bare minimum for the kick off. Perce, the lucky one who had to wear a shirt, lined up in between the sticks, while it was welcome back Nick 'Bronze' Zorbas from his international duty in the Indian Ocean, sporting a cracking tan that was to be on full view to the baying hordes of female fans watching from behind 'the cage'. Matty 'Five Bellies' Roberts, getting worryingly comfortable in his ways since getting cosy with his missus, was the midfield general, Joely H, defensive kingpin, was the one player still sporting a number on his back, and with Tex hauling his ample bulk into the fray, it was like the finale from the Full Monty lining up to face Germany's second string, made up of veterans of last years famous Blitzkreig outfit. Moments after kick off, Roscoe appeared, clearly distressed after being trapped underneath a ten kilo dumb-bell at the gym, where he had been anticipating the clash of shirts for weeks and working on his muscle tone.

The game started at a gallop, Rebels able to weave in and out of their opponents with no shirt holding possible, and it wasn't long before the shots rained in on the German stand-in goalkeeper. Zorby stubbed one just wide early on and Joely went close with a rasping effort after good battling by Matty Roberts. The first goal came courtesy of a Matty Roberts shot that took a heavy deflection off Texas Pete and wrong footed the keeper for one nil. Tex is definitely claiming that one, enough to break his duck for the season, and we know how Poms and ducks go together well. Next up was Zorby, homing in from the right to place a fine shot in past the keeper to ease open the floodgates. The right side of the park was destined to be the source of much of Rebels attacking, and it was from the right again that Joely cut inside and laid off to Tex who smashed in an unstoppable third goal for the Rebels, totally unmarked. Perce had to be on his toes from the one chance that Rebels afforded their European opponents, before releasing Joely once again down the right, whose clever play with Zorby led to the former lashing in a classic fourth. Rebels were ticking over like a well oiled Datsun, and added to the German misery with a fifth goal, courtesy of Matty Roberts, a low shot giving the goalkeeper no chance. Five goals to nil at half time, and surely more to come, with the Germans looking dejected.

Percinazzo Percelli was looking for his first clean sheet of the season and was determined to get it, until the first exchanges of the second half, which saw two quick goals conceded at his end. First, the blond winger, a constant threat, delivered the knockout blow, firing in low from the right, before an excellent move saw their long haired midfielder score with aplomb from the left after a clever one-two. Rebels were clearly tiring, but to their credit, the chances kept on coming. Forever dangerous on the break, it seemed a matter of time before a sixth goal came, but Tex was denied once on the line by the defender's legs and then again by an athletic piece of keeping keeping out a goalbound effort. Roscoe rasped one into window territory soon after, while Zorby and Matty both had wayward efforts after being caught in two minds. Roscoe began to run the show, but it was Joely who knocked in the sixth, and his second, then the goalscoring was completed by Zorby, powering home from close range to put Rebels into seventh heaven. Purce was called into action again soon after, saving from long range, and his eager distribution was causing all kinds of problems in the German ranks, Roscoe hitting the post from six yards and Matty once again finding the goal too small. The final whistle was welcome, with the temperature in the North Ryde Hot Box reaching the low 40s, and Rebels were visibly delighted with their win, and even more delighted to get their shirts back on to cover their shame. A great game for the fans, a nine goal feast with a semi-naked Rebels team strutting their stuff and showing that they are definite title contenders again this year. Next week we're at 8pm again. Bring it on. The Rebels go marching on.

Man of the match : Texas Pete

Rebels hang on for important win...

Armenia Rovers 1 Ryde Rebels 2 (13/11/2002)

The Bruno Cup hangover out of the way it was time for Ryde to roll up their sleeves, pull up their socks, comb their hair and get on with the show in what looked like a difficult fixture on paper, made even more tricky by the continued absence of two of the hotshot superstars. Georgie V, moonlighting in order to pay for the servicing of his Ravens company car, was missing for the second week running and Nick Z was still plying his trade on foreign soil, so it was the nucleus of the core of the backbone of the hub of the squad that took to the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams looking to strengthen their position as title contenders. Percington Percivini was once again shot stopping maestro, with Joely H and Matty Roberts the kingpins in defence, Roscoe and Tex doing the spade work up front. No subs meant conservation of energy was of paramount importance.

Armenia Rovers, a new outfit to the league, looked ready to cement their top three spot after some encouraging results so far, and with Ryde taking the steam out of the game from the first kick, it was the Armenian team who dominated possession without causing too much of a sweat. First keeper to be called into action was Perce, who was quick to react to a snapshot from close range, then turning a dipping shot over the bar while unsighted by the bulk of Texas Pete. Roscoe was causing problems up front,  Matty streamed down the right at every opportunity, while Joel made a stuttering start to the game, making good ground to block shots after giving the ball away in the guts. Roscoe almost delivered a window hit soon after, only a yard out, and Matty forced the ball into the side netting with a vicious shot. Tex then was harshly penalised for a back pass which Armenia wasted, before the wily pistol shooter saw a left foot shot touched around the post by the impressive Eurasian goalkeeper. Perce was once again on hand to smother the ball from close range as Armenia pressed for a goal, and Ryde were fortunate not to find themselves one or two down at the break. Just as the half looked to be drawing to a stalemate, a clever, if fortunate, goal was conjured up by Joel the magician, chipping in a goal-bound pass which was glanced in by the onrushing Roscoe for 1-0. The remaining two minutes of the half were played at an alarmingly slow pace, the pensionable Armenian defender, with his shorts up to his chest, commanding his half and slowing the game down to an infuriatingly pedestrian pace. One goal in it at the break and the Rebels dived for refreshment before the second half started.

It was more of the same after the break, Rebels looking for a way through a stubborn defence while soaking up lots of pressure. Once again Perce was dominant in his area, smothering the attack on two occasions when left face to face with an Armenian attacker. Armenia then hit the post with a blinding shot, with Rebels struggling to come to terms with the flashing footwork of their fancy-footed opponents, before Texas found the key to unlock their stranglehold, threading a slide-rule pass (does anyone know what that means?) to Matty Roberts who dinked a little dink over the keeper and the ball fell into the net for 2-0. Coasting. Rebels could afford to let their foot off the gas just a little, trying to preserve their energy while keeping their opponents out. Tex was finding the going tough, trying to latch on to impossible passes, but Joel and Perce stood firm at the back, keeping the sheet clean. Then came a dramatic turn of events that could have proved to be the pivotal point in the game. Texas broke through onto a Joely pass, tucked the ball back to Roscoe who squared to Matty in front of goal, but for the second week running, he hit the unselfish button and tried to push the ball to Texas instead of rasping the ball home, and the keeper pounced. No sooner had that happened, Rebels conceded a soft goal, Perce unable to keep out a great finish from Grandpop and a battling finale was to ensue. With Lady Luck tending to be a bastard for the Rebels, signs were there for a tense last two minutes. Luckily some time-sapping kick-ins and an early whistle from the referee meant that Rebels took the points with glee and secured their place in the top four, with that game in hand. Rebels had battled hard, held the ball up well, communicated excellently, and Matty and Texas had got their marking duties down to a T. Well done boys, it's eight o'clock next week. Thanks to all the fans for turning up and supporting, it was an excellent all round team effort. Georgie V and Zorby will find it difficult to slot back into this team.

Man of the match: Percivini Percoridis

Rebels grind out slender win...

AGBU 1 Ryde Rebels 2 (06/11/2002)

Following an enforced lay-off due to a bye, a huge weekend of wedding celebrations for the new Mr and Mrs Zorbas, it was back to basics for the Rebels and a chance to work off that last bit of wedding cake and those Tooheys New shivers.

Absent for the evening would be young Nicolas himself, off on international duty in Mauritius, vying to cement some strong foundations for the years ahead, and also the newly crowned Gladesville Ravens Reserve Grade player coach Georgie V, out due to a heavy workload for the Ravens in the hectic off-season. That left the remaining five superheroes to battle on with no subs against what has traditionally proved to be a resilient Agbu outfit. Percival lined up in goal looking for a first clean slate of the season, Joely and Matty were to fill in the deeper roles, while Roscoe and Tex were ready to do battle further up the paddock. Rebels started the game in a cagey manner, knowing that their old foe, lack of legs, would be up against them if they went out hard. It didn't take long however for them to get into the familiar groove, with Tex buzzing around with incessant dummy runs up front, getting in everyone's way, while the rest of the team looked for gaps. Joel went close to opening the scoring with a rasping shot, before Roscoe flashed one against the post, and a series of corner kicks couldn't find a way past the stubborn Agbu keeper. Just as the frustration was beginning to mount, and with Agbu finding a lot of possession, Rebels struck, a clever piece of marauding from Joel setting up Matty Roberts for a simple finish for 1-0. Tex then got on the end of the move of the match, if not the season, a sensational piece of one touch magic and vision first from Matty then from Roscoe, only to see his first time side foot shot scrape the post. Another Tex raid saw him use his left stump for once, this time the keeper touching the ball wide after a mazy run, before Rebels were denied a spectacular own goal by the bar, the ball whipping off a stray Agbu boot and looping over the keeper only to bounce over. Perce made a couple of smart saves and commanded his area well, but was largely a spectator for much of the half. One nil at the break.

Rebels players were gasping for water at the break, and came out sluggishly in the second half, and had a lot of pressure to soak up. Percical made a smart save turning the ball around his post from one of a series of long range toe-pokes from the Agbu raiders, and was instrumental in most of the Rebels raids forward. Roscoe began to take control up front, tormenting the defence with his go-go-gadget legs, and was unlucky to see a searing Mirandinha style effort from an impossible angle touched wide by the keeper. Joel and Matty began to waste time in the corner of the pitch from corner kicks, and were both victims of minor man-handling by their opponents. Then came disaster for the Agbu side, a bit of rummaging from Roscoe in the box saw a shot bounce off the keeper, off a defender and sail into the net for two. Heads were on their way down for Agbu, and it wasn't long before Rebels started turning the screw for a third; Tex, playing an odd kind of role, picking up the pieces from Roscoe's raids, twice tested the keeper, then managed to shoot straight at Roscoe with the goal gaping. Another defensive mix up saw Matty's shot parried and Tex with an empty net from twelve yards, but his placed effort just inside the post was smothered on the line by the defence. The goal just wouldn't come, and with minutes remaining it was disaster at the back, yet another toe-poke from way out catching Joel, wrong footing Perce and trickling in for 2-1 - even Cudicini wouldn't have got to that one. So with Rebels searching for that elusive third, it was left to Matty Roberts to sum up his team's night in front of goal, fed by a pinpoint pass from Joel, with the goal at his mercy from a yard out, the usually clinical Rebels superhero opted to square the ball to the heavily marked Shearer, er Tex, and the chance went begging. There was time for Joel to thunder an effort in from the half way line, and for Perce to be called on again to make a good stop, before the referees brought the game to an end, a relieved Rebels side confused at how they hadn't scored more, and wondering just where the goals were going to come from. Hats off to Ryde Rebels however, playing without subs on a warm spring night, and always believing. Agbu on the other hand, can go away with knowledge that they are the loudest team in the comp, as you can't hear yourself when you're standing next to them before and after the game. Bring on the next challengers, 8.30 it is.

Man of the match : Percivalious Percington

Rebels run riot in nine goal romp...

Ryde Rebels 7 Sorted Geezers 2 (23/10/2002)

Ryde Rebels turned on the tap and spile (style) against the Lane Cove Sorted Geezers British Legion ex-Pats society East London Division in a frenetic display of one touch wizardry at the North Ryde Theatre of Custard Creams (Dreams).

It was all smiles, all teeth for Rebels before the kick off, with Captain Percival returning to mind a very battered goal, robbing Joely the chance of adding to his tally. Georgie V was on loan to Melbourne for the week, so it was a six man outfit that went in the game looking to get back on track after a dismal horse and cart (start) to the campaign. Zorby and Joely were still coming down from a weekend of high jinks, Tex was dealing in contract wrangles up until just before kick off, while Matty Roberts and Roscoe looked ready to do damage to the league newcomers. The first five minutes were a right two and eight (state) for the Rebels, however, as the Geezers began the game with unbelievable gusto and a shock lead was deserved, Perce given no chance at the near post as the Rebels defence was swamped. That goal, while giving the Cockney upstarts a slender one goal lead, served to breathe fire into the dormant Ryde bellies and Ryde were quickly off the back foot and on the offensive. Tex got the first tin pot (shot) of the game in, lodging a left foot strike in between the keepers legs, before Sheriff Roscoe got his act together and danced through the Londoners defence from a Matty flick to ram the beck and call (ball) in for the equaliser. And he wasn't finished there, scoring a classy goal from a tight angle barely a minute hot potater (later) after rounding the keeper with fleet of foot and a twinkle of the toe. Roscoe then turned his prickly rose (nose) up at the hat-trick, opting for the money shot at the windows, but his effort, for once, missed by about a metre. The pace was relentless, surely the Stella drinking lager lout English bulldogs would tire, and it looked to be the case when Roscoe rounded off a great move slamming in a third after a team move the eminated from Perce's vision in goal. Zorby had a shot hit the side netting while Matty Roberts looked lively, doing his Dixie Chicks (tricks) in the corner. The goals were coming thick and fast, and it was no surprise when Zorby got on the end of a clever move for four, before Perce was deceived by the bobble on a huge divot on the synthetic pitch and the ball whistled past him for 4-2. Memories of 66 for the Cockneys, but for once, no Russian linesman to help out.

And so the second half got underway. Roscoe, who had been felled in first half stoppage time, leaving the field to get treatment, sat out the first few seconds of the half as Rebels soaked up the pressure of a tiring yet effervescent Geezer Teeth team, who continued to barrack and bawl for the cause, despite their two goal disadvantage. Two goals was to become much moan and curse (worse) soon after the start however, as a slick bit of interplay left Joely with the easiest of finishes after Roscoe had done the hard Rugged Turk (work) and flashed his shot against the spit roast (post). Zorby then contrived to miss the chance of the game, electing to do a Kanu instead of an Owen, flicking the ball wide of the gaping goal, and somehow Perce's goal remained intact after some woeful finishing from the England Select. One particular effort was reminiscent of Kieron Dyer at Man City, shooting wide of a completely unguarded net, and another two-against-the-keeper situation ended with the ball skimming the post when a goal looked likely. So it was Rebels who took control again, taking the unprecedented step of being unselfish, making the final two goals for each other instead of slamming the ball from impossible angles. Matty Roberts looked as if he would make it 6-2 when set clear by Zorby, but Rebels fans rubbed their pork pies (eyes) in disbelief when he squared it to the incoming Joely instead of putting the ball into the dinner set (net). Joely tried to return the favour in the ultimate piss-take but the ball took a deflection and went in for six. There was just time for Matty Roberts to complete the scoring with a great finish after tip-toeing around the last man, and the final whistle brought absolute relief to the Rebels and disappointment to the Chelsea Pensioners, who would face a twenty four hour shine-a-light (flight) back to the East End with their buckets and pails (tails) between their coat pegs (legs). 

Well done Ryde Rebels, who will sit out next week with a bye, with the league being increased to accommodate the Lane Cove Sorted Geezers. A time to reflect on the Bruce Banner (manner) of the 7-2 victory, a great team cohesion shown in complete contrast to the disjointed disgruntlement of the previous two games. We're back. Nice one, top one, get sorted!

Man of the match : Roscoe

Rebels go one better...

Ryde Rebels 0 Super Mario All Blacks 6 (16/10/2002)

Ryde Rebels got their campaign off to the worst possible start at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams on Wednesday night, capitulating for the second week running against an All Black team full of verve and invention, sending them to the bottom of the table after only one week. The only way is up.

The battle for the keepers jersey was won by Joely, in the continued absence of Percival, Rebels number one shot stopping hero, and Aman, the on-loan Ravens keeper who was away on a training camp. With Georgie V making a first start of the season though, there was optimism, as any player who had played the previous week would have been fearing the worst. The game finally got underway with the All Blacks stuffing around in the changing rooms, and the game was incredibly tight in the opening exchanges, Rebels defending stoutly but lacking invention while the All Blacks sprinted around the court in a fizz of frenetic interplay and motion. Joely began his goalkeeping duties well, beating out a couple of tricky shots, opting to block instead of attempt to catch. Roscoe and Matty looked very lively early on while Tex ran around the court as if his life depended on it, but was effectively marked out of the game. Zorby was looking to be the key to a famous Rebels victory, and it was he and Roscoe that orchestrated the first Rebels opportunity, squeezing through the defence only to be blocked as he shot. Roscoe, who claimed prior to the game that his days of window-hitting were behind him, then blasted a ball square into the glass ten metres above the goal, although the effort was an audacious volley from a difficult through ball. Matty was doing a good job of holding the ball up and got in one of only two nutties on the night. The half was heading for a half-time stalemate when the referee harshly punished Roscoe for a foul ,also showing him the yellow card, which received plenty of back chat in return. A direct shot from only nine yards out, and with the wall standing firm it had to be a deflection that took it past Joel, clipping Matty's heel and whistling into the top corner at a recorded speed of 208kmh. A disastrous end to a good half.

So 1-0 down at the break, not the kind of score that would make any team feel that they were out of it, but the way that Rebels started the second half, it felt like 5-0 already. With the opponents all getting clued up to the fiery Mediterranean temper of Zorb, a few nudges, kicks and choice comments got him really riled and the referee issued a yellow card and made it clear that he was on his last warning. Georgie V, forever the cool customer continued to try and make things tick, but it was to no avail, as the All Blacks took the game by the scruff of the neck, picked it up, and put it in their pocket. Trademark slack defending from Zorb, by now a pressure cooker of emotion hissing away on the stove, left Tex completely exposed for a simple drag back and finish for two nil, then Tex was guilty of not diving in, when perhaps he should have, we'll never know, leaving the two attackers to run rings around him for three. The shoulders went down and the arms started waving theatrically from the Rebels, Roscoe tried his best to incite the All Blacks into yellow cards, dancing away with the ball, attracting vicious swings and sweeping lunges from the All Blacks who swarmed around him like the Keystone Cops. Zorby then had an effort from a free kick just go over, before the goal feast started all over again, the squeak of Roscoe's shoes against the synthetic court making Tex stop thinking it was the whistle leaving a simple tap in, then a lightning quick effort saw a toe poker fly through Zorby's legs and in off the post for five. Georgie V then was caught in possession, and a sixth goal was scored, Joel again with no chance. The final whistle was welcome, talk immediately after the game was of a forfeit, as the All Blacks had turned up late, but with that being the only potential kink in their armour, the All Blacks were left looking down at the rest of the league from the top spot that they will look to keep all season.

As for the Rebels, it was a horror show, one of those second halves that makes you not want to play football ever again, but hopefully lessons will have been learned and Ryde should definitely take heart from the first half performance when the All Blacks were well and truly quashed. Joely made an impressive appearance in goal, despite the tally, Matty Roberts did everything to try and turn the game around and Roscoe had one ultimate goal, and that was to avoid hitting the windows. Tex ran around a lot, Georgie V had a lot of possession and Zorby would have been a contender for man of the match, had it not been for his infuriating Jeckyll and Hyde temper in the second half, which spread through the team like wildfire. Come on Rebels, the only way is up. Next game 9pm Wednesday - be there and live the action, or miss it and read all about right here. 

Man of the Match: Matty Roberts

Rebels feature in Stropfest 2002

Ryde Rebels 0 Super Mario All Blacks 5 (09/10/2002)

Understrength. Undisciplined. Underpants. A hard fought evening of pressure from the All Black finally paid off after Rebels had absorbed the pressure for three quarters of the game, and a harsh result after a dogged performance.

Rebels came into the game missing three of their talented squad - Roscoe, the Zedman and Georgie V - but managed to put together the usual outfield nucleus of Zorbster, Joely, Texas and Matty Roberts to complement their on-loan shot-stopper Aman. With the All Blacks boasting a healthy squad of fit looking players and a manager to boot, Rebels meagre presence of zero staff on the bench hinted at the type of match to follow. These two teams, finalists in last year's Grand Final, were hyped up to the max, and with only thirty seconds on the clock, with both teams already having an early half chance, controversy struck when Zorbington clashed in the first of a series of niggly tussles with the haughty All Black midfield. Not to be content with a yellow card for his team mate after a bit of back chat, All Blacks had a man immediately dismissed for an absolutely ludicrous show of lip to the umpire, a barrage of F-words from two paces, that made a mockery of their team's status as the number one outfit in the North Ryde comp. With the Mario All Blacks down to three outfield players the impetus went to Rebels, but with the referee stalling for time, the two minute penalty was eaten up and the All Blacks were back to their full complement. Zorb was getting increasingly frustrated and the family connection Matty Roberts was starting to boil over, especially with the All Blacks frustrating their every attack. The Rebels goal lead a charmed life, Aman making a series of mind bending saves from point blank, and from distance, while at the other end, Tex finally found space, unfortunately on his left, with a shot that was deflected just over, and Joel had a deflected effort just clear the bar. With the stats reading shots on target 25-2 or thereabouts, it was a minor miracle that the game stayed at 0-0 til half time.

With Rebels denied any interchanges it was no big surprise that legs began to tire from then on, and tempers continued to fray. Super Marios opened the scoring from a needlessly conceded free kick, the stinging shot surprising everyone and beating Aman at the far post with the wall looking on. With kicks beginning to go astray (especially from the kick off), it wasn't long before a dazzling move, that relied somewhat on the luck of the bounce, resulted in the second, once again Aman with no chance. Joely battled hard at the back, not getting much chance to come forward, Zorb had a screamer from halfway which caused no panic, while Tex and Zorb combined to good effect only to see Tex closed down and the chance deflect wide. Matty Roberts did his usual dancing on the ball to try and create something from nothing, but to no avail. Super Mario's then discovered a ploy - Rebels were happy to concede free kicks with blatant shirt pulling and tripping, so they played for them and made no mistake, their dead ball specialists doing the damage with two quick goals for 4-0. The final goal was something special - reminiscent of Sammy's spectacular goal at Peel during the Ravens season, you could just see what they were trying to do, but could not have expected it to come off - a move involving the whole team with flicks and juggling and a header to end the move and end the scoring at five nil. What a drubbing. It was all smiles at the end, handshakes and pats on the back, in contrast to the Stropfest that had gone on for the 26 previous minutes. Roscoe was there at the end, we think he turned up midway through the second half and hid to avoid the embarrassment of a second half licking.

Rebels kick off the season next week (this was another trial game thankfully) and will be looking to improve on their performance from today. Rebels do look composed when their cage is not rattled, but the questionable temperament that runs through the squad was there for all to see tonight, along with the lack of penetration from playing a very cumbersome target man for the full game.

Man of the match: Zorby

Rebels off to winning start ...

Ararat Cosmos 1 Ryde Rebels 3 (02/10/2002)

Premiership futsal returned to the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams tonight as the stars of the forthcoming season had a chance to look each other up and down in an evening of "friendly" encounters. Ryde drew the mighty Ararat out of the hat and were hence denied a go at last year's champions Super Mario All Blacks, who served up a goals feast against Agbu earlier in the night.

Ryde Rebels were boasting the return of the Zed Man to their ranks after his knee problems of the previous season, and, without the mercurial shot stopper Perce, away on international duty, also drafted in the Ravens number one keeper Aman for a rare game. With the usual suspects of Joely, Zorb, Tex and Roscoe in tow, a squad of six was assembled, with room for the two other absentees Matty Roberts and Georgie V to slot back in when the comp starts for real next week.

Rebels lost the toss and Ararat got the game underway, at a pace that typified the Rebels matches last season, sedate, controlled and rigid at the back. Rebels had very few opportunities in the first half as both teams looked for a break through, the first falling to Texas Pete with a sweet volley on the spin, his most telling contribution on the night, which whistled wide. Roscoe was looking dangerous and Joely threatened every time he ventured over the halfway line, but it was left to Zorby to get the scoring underway with a low shot into the corner of the net with the goalkeeper slow to react. Aman was benefiting from a solid defensive wall in front of him, managing a couple of saves from long distance, while the Ararat left winger caused problems with his tricky feet. Stevie Z opted for panache rather than power later in the half, with the goal at his mercy, a poncy little dink was not the right option. Roscoe also fired just wide and 1-0 looked like a fair score at half time.

The second half got underway in much the same vain - methodical passing with a one man target man system not really setting the right tone for a fluent Ryde performance. It wasn't long either before Aman was called into action to make a fine stop to his left as the left winger tricked and danced his way down the line. Zorby, Joely and Roscoe began to flick the ball about with ease, although they could have been guilty of overplay as they tried to walk the ball into the net with one pass too many. But it was Roscoe that got Rebels on track with a scintillating effort from outside the box which flew into the net past a bemused Ararat keeper for 2-0. Time perhaps for Rebels to either wrap it up or to do a Liverpool and throw it all away. They took the second option and were soon pinned back to 2-1, the whole team going walkabout, leaving a surprised Ararat player to fire in unchallenged from ten yards. Texas then showed that he hasn't lost his Mirandinha shooting skills by slicing one into touch from the kick off, but he was then spared the Pelican of the Week award by Roscoe who first of all extended his run of window-hitting in futsal matches to thirteen with a wild effort that was still rising as it smashed into the glass over fifteen metres above the ground, then contriving to miss a chance from one metre with the goal agog, spurning the move of the night with Zorby and Joely already celebrating. Stevie Z was looking less mobile as the half wore on, but was instrumental in keeping the Cosmos at bay, and Aman was busy keeping the slender one goal lead, just managing to touch a free kick round the post that deflected off the wall. With time running out and the game hanging in the balance it was left to Roscoe to let the class shine through, finding himself one on one with his defender, he curled the ball in off the post for 3-1. Purely belter. Rebels had wrapped it up. Three one was the final score, Rebels happy for the points, had there been any at stake, although somewhat perturbed by the manner of the performance. Hopefully it'll be a few weeks before the Super Marios come to town.

Well done Ryde for the opening victory, bring on the big guns. Joely looked commanding at the back, Zorby was his vociferous self, Roscoe's long legs caused havoc, Tex had forgotten all the rules of futsal, while trickster Stevie Z didn't manage a single nutties all night. Congrats to Aman for a great game between the sticks, even when the backdrop padding came crashing down onto the playing surface. 

Man of the match: Roscoe

SEASON 2001/2002

Rebels dealt crushing blow in Grand Final ...

Super Mario All Blacks 2 Ryde Rebels 1 (28/02/2002)

The Super Mario All Blacks drifted to Finals glory as the Rebels season petered out in a huge anti-climax after a rollercoaster 24 hours at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams. The All Blacks class shone through in front of a meagre crowd of two.

Rebels went into the game at full strength for the first time in ten rounds as the late kick off gave Roscoe a chance to show his window hitting style for one last time this season in the showcase final. The game was only a minute old however when a piece of slick passing magic from the all blacks ended in a sweeping finish past Perce who could only watch the ball nestle into his net. And it was going to be a lot harder soon after when Joely turned into trouble with his options limited and gifted the ball to the on rushing All Blacks forward who made no mistake. Heads threatened to go down as the threat of a drubbing became a reality. Zorb was getting agitated, but it was his toil in midfield that took some of the pressure off and gave Matty and Georgie half chances that couldn't find their way through the crowded area. Half time was welcome, 2-0 down was quite fortunate. Texas was having a shocker and was craving the bench.

So the second half came and the game upped a notch and the tempo began to tick in Rebels favour - a super team move involving the four outfield players on the pitch at the time ended with Roscoe sweeping the ball home for 2-1. All of a sudden, Craig David began snapping away as the Rebels army of two sensed a shock. The clock was ticking relentlessly, Perce was sacrificed to bring on window hitter Roscoe, who almost immediately rattled the ball in and just wide. Controversy was to follow in the closing stages when Roscoe smashed the ball goalwards, the ball hit the underside of the bar and crossed the line by a foot or so before rebounding to safety. The Russian linesman had his revenge. No goal. With Matty Roberts sent crashing to the floor in a rough tackle, that was the end of the season as the whistle went and the disappointment hit.

The consolation of a trophy lifted the Rebels and made it two years running as losing Grand Finalists. Well done thee Rebels, let's transfer this verve and desire onto the big field for a good season with the Ravens and a championship title tilt. Come on Ravens!

Ryde Rebels 4 Sydney Pigeons 2 (27/02/2002)

...we're going to Wemb-er-ley, tell me Mam me Mam. Oh yes, a display of sublime quality from the Ryde Rebels in the semi-finals at the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams sent them through to a showcase final and a date with destiny with the Super Mario All Blacks.

Coming into the game on the back of an 11-1 demolition of fellow semi-finalists Agbu, Rebels knew they would have to play a similar game to overcome last year's champions, the all conquering Sydney Pigeons. Roscoe was back from a lengthy absence and Georgie made a conscious effort to get there on time to give Rebels a full strength side. Joely started in his usual anchor role with Zorb in the middle, Matty doing the fancy stuff and Tex playing link man up front. Perce was the first keeper to make a save and what a good one it was to block a swift move from point blank as the Pigeons threatened, however he could do nothing about the first goal, a ripping shot taking a deflection past the unsighted shot-stopper for 1-0. To their credit Rebels continued to play their holding game, frustrating the Pigeons and giving them very few options. One rocket effort from wide on the right was well saved by Perce before an equaliser of exquisite simplicity, Zorb doing the spade work to set up Tex with a one on one, which he declined to set up Matty for the simple finish under pressure. Get in you beauty! Ryde were well worth their goal and had a couple of chances to snatch a half time lead with Ross firing wide and Tex having a shot saved, but the half ended on a knife edge at 1-1.

The game was looking a sure-fire extra time and penalties match, with the scores locked at 1-1 midway through the second half, Perce was busy once again with Pigeons hitting the post and threatening with long range shots. However, it was all due to change soon after, Roscoe finding himself wide on the right with nowhere to go, so it was a surprise when he shot and the ball rebounded in off the goalkeeper for a freakish yet welcome goal to put the Rebels 2-1 up. A third was soon to follow, with Rebels in riotous form going forward, and it was no surprise when Zorb popped up on the right to dispossess his man and coolly slot home past the on-rushing goalkeeper. The Rebels travelling army of two were in raptures, and they were soon to be treated to more excitement - Pigeons replaced their goalkeeper with an outfield player, a ploy designed to pepper the Rebels goal. It backfired however, with Rebels breaking away clinically to hit a fourth and a second for Zorby with another cool finish. Rebels were coasting by now, and with their foot off the gas awaiting the final whistle, there was time for a second Pigeons goal, and the game ended on a free-kick with Zorby about to wrap up his hat-trick, denied only by the final whistle. A huge roar from the Rebels greeted the final whistle, a great result and a ticket to the final.

Tune in for details of the final, only 24 hours after the semi-final victory, where Rebels meet the national champions-elect Super Mario All Blacks in what should be a tough duel. 

Agbu 1 Ryde Rebels 11 (20/02/2002)

Rebels put one over on their nemesis Agbu, who had sneaked a surprise win only two weeks previously, with a victory of titanic proportions. Ryde, already finishing third before the match, go through to meet last years winners Sydney Pigeons in the semi-finals.

Confidence was high going into this one, but there were worrying scenes with two players only showing up minutes before kick off and Roscoe and Georgie V absent. Rebels downfall against Agbu was due to their lack of legs with no subs, and the large bank of fans was anticipating a classic, Agbu sporting two fresh looking replacements if the going got tough. Ryde started sluggishly as usual, Texas Pete finding the going tough after a day at the beach, Agbu hitting the post, but it wasn't long before the goals started to flow; it was as though Ryde remembered how to play futsal, and attacked in a swarm. Nick Zorbas, Joely and Matty Roberts combined to notch the first, Matty firing in from the acutest angle with the first chance of the game, and added a second into the top of the net with Ryde's second chance. It was over to Nick for a quick hat-trick soon after, Matty setting up a simple tap in for the first, some dancefloor moves in front of the keeper making a simple finish possible for number two and a rasping drive for a clinical third. With Ryde in top gear it wasn't long before the rather static Tex poached a goal, Zorby squaring for a simple finish and then a spot of Schmeichel magic from Perce set up Tex down the right who slammed the ball in from distance.

The heat was intense, Rebels were tiring, the crowd was going off, it was 7-0, Perce was staring his second clean sheet in the face, Agbu were astonished by the transformation in their opponents. The goals dried up in the second half, Agbu doing all the running while Rebels chased. It was eight though with a breakaway goal for Zorby's fourth with a cool finish under pressure and nine when Tex passed up the opportunity of a hat trick and touched the ball through for Matty to complete his. With Agbu threatening at the other end, it was no surprise when they sneaked a goal with a long range screamer, after Perce had touched their best effort onto the bar a minute before. What happened next will haunt Matty Roberts forever, miss of the season, Zorby squaring for a simple finish in front of an empty goal from two yards, which Matty hit into his standing foot and the ball screwed wide. Zorby showed him the way with two smart finishes to complete the rout, Ryde playing as if they had a spare man, with an available man on the wing at every attack. It was superb attacking play and had the referee not stopped it, it could easily have been more.

So, with their harshest critics watching, more than impressed, Ryde sailed into the semis to face the mighty Pigeons, while Agbu have a tough task against the Mario Brother All Blacks. Good on ya fellas.

Ryde Rebels 7 TMC 0 (13/02/2002)

The Rebels turned on the style to break the hearts of a dogged TMC side who were looking to turn their effort into points after two gritty displays earlier in the season. 

With Roscoe out practicing his window-shooting skills and welcoming back Georgie V fresh from his extra curricular activities and super Zorbs too, it was always going to be a more controlled Rebels side. It could have been so different as Rebels started in their usual tired manner, Perce called into action more than once, but it was a tactic that was once again going to lure TMC into thinking they were good.

And the goals started flooding in, as Zorby took the game by the scruff of the neck and stamped his authority all over the occasion. Knowing that Super Joely was keeping the door locked at the back and that Texas was once again keeping the bench nice and toasty, Zorb went on a scoring spree. First of all, a cheeky bit of play down the left gave Zorby the chance to show everyone how to finish, then Matty Roberts turned in a second after Rebels threatened to make too many passes, before a third just before half time to calm the nerves from Zorby. Half time was a long time coming and Ryde were keen to lose concentration, Georgie V caught napping at the back to force Perce into a fine save, and Matty testing his keeper with a back pass come shot which was touched wide.

The second half was a procession, Joely pushing forward and capping a fine performance with a neat finish before hat-trick boy Zorb squeezed in a fifth. Texas Pete was denied with a good block by their impressive but luckless keeper before Georgie V raced clear to latch on to a Joely pass to finish with aplomb, wheeling away in delight. It was left to the Zorbster to knock in yet another goal for the final nail in the coffin, and there was time for a couple of clean through misses from Joely and Tex, with Georgie firing over with the goal gaping. With time running out, Perce tried his best to throw away his clean sheet, and after throwing the ball straight to the opposition, he was lucky to get a hand to the shot. The night was to belong to Perce who enjoyed his clean sheet and Zorby who racked up an impressive array of quality finishes.

Next week we've got the mighty Agbu again - there'll be no let up in the run in to the title. With Tex taking in a spying mission on the top two by making a goalscoring loan appearance in a 5-2 defeat for Sydney Pigeons by the Mario Brothers, the signs look good, only the Mario Brothers should prove difficult to beat. Come on you Rebels.

Agbu 4 Ryde Rebels 3 (06/02/2002)

Rebels let slip a commanding two goal lead to succumb to a shock defeat at the hands of an Agbu team that took every chance they had.

Rebels started the evening with a scratch side, with playmaker Zorb missing and Georgie V working on Ravens tactics for the new season, so it was always going to be a difficult evening with no substitutes to take the pressure off. Winning the toss and electing to shoot towards the Gladesville end, Gladesville got the game off to their usual head-scratching start, Matty Roberts gifting the ball to Agbu who scored with the first chance of the game with Perce given no chance. It was time for Rebels to wake up and they began to carve out the usual hatful of chances - Texas hit the post and screwed the ball wide after bursting through while a wild shot from Ross from a free kick almost blasted a hole in the wall above the goal. It was left to sweeper Joely to start the ball rolling with a dazzling run and a teasingly weak left foot shot that beat the keeper and went in off the post. Roscoe then restored normality with a powerful shot that the keeper couldn't handle and Ryde began to take command. They were organised and meant business.

Half time meant a brief breather for Rebels and they went on to capitalise on their lions share of possession with a super third, Roscoe firing in after a great move, Joely just failing to claim the goal as it crossed the line. So three goals up and coasting. All of a sudden, with Ryde stretched, the ball broke kindly for a second Agbu goal, a neat finish past Perce into the left hand side of the net, before drama in front of the Ryde goal - a huge deflection from Roscoe forced Perce into a fantastic save, from the follow up, the ball was flashed in and Roscoe inadvertently finished what he had started and made it 3-3. Ryde were rattled, decisions began to go against them, Tex hit the post from a long range screamer while Matty Roberts hesitated when clean through. Just when it looked as though Ryde's relentless pressure would pay off, the lack of shape and tired legs let Agbu in for one last chance and the game was sewn up to rapturous applause from the Agbu bench. Nightmare scenario. The whistle went with Ryde still pressing for an equaliser that was never to come, and hands were on heads as they knew they had just thrown away three valuable points against what could be one of the challengers for a play off spot.

Ryde must do better next week when, thanks to Perce's agility in drawing out of the hat, Ryde are pitted against the stubborn TMC side that have come very close to getting points off them in two rugged encounters.

Ryde Rebels 2 Sydney Falcons 5 (30/01/2002)

Rebels sat in bemusement outside the North Ryde Theatre of Dreams, their dreams of world domination in tatters after a hapless display of minor league finishing and inexcusable ill-temper.

Falcons went into this game full of confidence after a good display in the Nationals at the weekend, and with a full compliment of twinkle toed superstars, it was always going to be difficult for the rugged Ryde Rebels team, missing the calming influence of Georgie V, sidelined with a pulled groin, he hopes. The plan was one of containment for the mighty Rebels, but any idea Perce had of a clean sheet was swept aside in the opening exchanges when the defence opened up like a cheap whore and a long range effort was deflected past Perce who had no chance. A second was to follow as Ryde pushed hard for an equaliser, Zorby caught in possession with options limited and a simple tap in goal with Perce once again given little chance. The scoreline looked as though it might blow out of all proportion until a breakaway goal from Zorby caught the Falcons napping, latching on to a Matty Roberts through ball to sink the ball with a deft finish. Just before half time, a third for Falcons was like a nail in the coffin for Ryde who were by that stage struggling to keep up with the superb passing and control of their counterparts. Zorby tried desperately to find someone to point the finger at. So 3-1 down at half time and not a great deal of time to catch breath before the second half.

The second half started brightly for Ryde and they got themselves into several goalscoring situations on the break; Texas Pete missed the ball completely with the net gaping and didn't have the reactions to turn in a firmly hit cross from Joely on the counter attack. Maybe it was the heavy Ravens training session the night before that was taking its toll. Roscoe fired a couple of shots incredibly high, which is a trademark of his, and Matty went close with some long range shots. Joely, marshalling the defence and proving a difficult last defender to beat, found himself up there with a chance only to see the world class goalkeeper turn his shot away. Texas and Zorby also tested the goalkeeper before an inch perfect through ball from Matty found Texas who calmly poked the ball into the empty net. Game on. Game definitely on! While Rebels were catching Falcons on the break, the Sydney team were laying siege on Perce's goal, and it was thanks to Perce and some last ditch defending from Joely that the score didn't escalate beyond reach. Taking the mantle of miss of the century from Texas who had earned it just moments before was the Falcons centre forward who, standing with hand on post, just had to touch the ball in for a goal, and let it run over his foot for a goal kick. Sign him up Ravens!  It was with seven minutes remaining, though,  that the game took a turn for the worse - Roscoe was getting his legs whacked from every angle and Matty Roberts didn't take too kindly to it. This, coupled with the clinching fourth goal, sent Zorby into one of his Dr Jeckyll moods and any semblance of sanity left the Rebels. Surprisingly no-one got booked, poor Ross got some rough treatment while Zorby and Matty abandoned any kind of formation to go hunting for scalps and cautions. It was no surprise then when a fifth goal went in, and a whoop of joy from the Falcons forward did nothing to calm the Rebels' nerves. Just as the game was reaching boiling point the whistle went and it was all handshakes and pats on the back to end an utterly thrilling contest.

Rebels sat forlorn in the carpark after the game - they'd played quite well, spurned numerous half chances and let the Falcons dictate the game when it could have been so different. The season is not yet over by a long shot though and Rebels should get another crack at the Falcons in the Finals, if we manage to beat Agbu next week. Unlucky lads - close but no cigar.

TMC 1 Ryde Rebels 3 (23/01/2002)

A performance of horrific proportions from Ryde Rebels almost cost them all the points as TMC frustrated and niggled to go close to an unlikely win. Rebels knew exactly what they were up against after their slender win earlier in the competition; rugged midfield running and staunch defence was the order of the day.