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NEWS
Sea Eagles have wings clipped
The
Manly Sea Eagles were touted by many in the pre-season to be up
there in contention for the title this season. However, so far this
season they’ve been nothing but a disappointment.
In
the first round they lost to Canberra away from home, a winnable
game of which they got convincing beaten 26-10. They vowed
improvement in the second round versus the Central Coast at Express
Advocate Stadium, but again they fell short with yet another
lacklustre performance, eventually losing 24-18. Manly coach MickyJ
was then up against it and vowed to supporters to stay staunch and
come out to Brookvale to support the Eagles at “Fortress
Brookie” against lowly Illawarra Steelers. In front of a
poultry crowd of just over 7,000 Manly were humiliated by the Joe
Williams led Steelers 52-16 with 9 tries being scored against them.
What was meant to be such a promising season is quickly
turning into a disaster. When Manly recruited Newcastle coach
MickyJ, they thought they were buying one of the best coaches in the
NWL but their theory is quickly turning into nothing with every
humiliating loss.
Manly fans are up in arms over their teams
form, and when I interviewed Manly stalwart Mike Hunt he had this to
say
“I think it’s a f***ing disgrace mate. In all
honestly what the f*** is this guy doing. Who are these pommie guys
they got that he said were “the best”, all they’ve
done is f*** up. Andrew Johns is a dud. If we don’t get a win
soon, I’ll commit suicide”
And that’s just
the few of one of their supporters and while the suicide comment is
a bit rash you can clearly see where the man is coming from. Why are
these English players underperforming? Are they all underperforming?
You only have to look at Leon Pryce, Keith Senior and Richard Horne
to come to the conclusion that they are not all failing. So why are
they failing at Manly? Is it the sunshine and waves?
No, the
answer is that the coach that they have hired cannot in fact coach.
He has brought across two seasons of mediocrity to Manly and the
trend is continuing. The sad thing is that as a person MickyJ is
actually quite a fine individual, but his coaching leaves something
to be desired. Next week he plays the surprise packet Newtown away
from home. Will this be Manly’s first win? Or will they suffer
another humiliating defeat at the hands of an inferior roster of
players.
Roberto Wills
In Hostile
territory
While the title to this would
assume a team is doing quite good, this would appear to be quite the
opposite. This report is about the ineptness of one of NWL’s
most travelled coaches.
Coach Hostile now with South
Queensland left his previous club Brisbane because “They
didn’t have good enough cattle”. While South Queensland
doesn’t have a superstar roster they have the likes of Jamie
Lyon who was touted as the Pele of Rugby League not long
ago.
However, despite this improved roster, we have not seen
any improved performances from the teams that Hostile coaches. South
Queensland are currently yet to win a game this season and the
management of the South Queensland club are not happy with him
suggesting
“ We’ve had enough to be honest. We
hired this guy cause he wanted a go and he doesn’t perform. We
want to improve our team and this guy is bringing it down. We are
not happy and we better start seeing results or else”
What
exactly that “or else” comment means I’ll leave it
up to the imagination of the reader, however, one things for sure is
that Hostile is the Paul Langmack of NWL, he can’t coach no
matter what “cattle” he has.
At the start of the
season he insulted his team calling star winger Amos Roberts a
“Black C”, starting prop Michael Vella a “Gollywog”,
Brian Carney a “Pommy Poof” and Ali Lauiti’iti a
“sheep Shagger” and all this on his first day. Not
exactly the best first impression to the “cattle” your
about to coach.
Is Hostile up to standard? Should he get
arrested as a racist pig? You can tell he once coached Brisbane and
he is still….A redneck Queenslander.
Roberto
Wills
Penrith the new Glamour team?
While
they may be the ugliest team in the competition with players with
heads of camels i.e. Luke Rooney, the old head Keith Senior,
arguably the ugliest mop in league Nathan Hindmarsh the footy they
are playing is quite attractive. While this Penrith team has had to
win two games in circumstances of which could only be described as
tight, they are throwing the football around and are really taking
it to the opposition, something that wasn’t done in the
past.
While previous Penrith teams have been solely based on
the forward pack, this years team shows that they have their most
balanced team on record. While their coach may be a fat, ugly man
who isn’t that good of a coach, he has made this team into a
great unit starting at the end of last season.
Last season
Penrith won the Bob MacCarthy shield and have held it since. They
are the current holders of the Knock-Out Cup and they are undefeated
in both grades this season thus far. Are we seeing a super power?
Will they win the title? Will they pay the price of
success?
Penrith have had tight wins over St. George and
Newcastle, just getting over Newcastle in extra time, and a
convincing win over Newtown. Next up, the Balmain Tigers and the
infamous Benji Marshall and Scott Prince. Will they be able to halt
the Panthers progress? The battle of these pussies should be
something that we should all see.
Penrith management
responded today to the rumours that they are releasing Origin prop
Ben Ross suggesting that there is no way he will be leaving, but are
open to offers.
Roberto Wills
Contenders Emerge
Fresh from their Bob McCarthy and Charity Cup double, the
Panthers have emerged as title contenders, along with last years
Premiers the Warriors, and last years Minor Premiers, the South
Sydney Rabbitohs.
All three clubs are undefeated after two
rounds, with the Tigers, Knights and Sea Eagles yet to record a win.
The Panthers players are doing their club proud, leading the
2nd grade comp as well, along with the Knights, Rabbitohs and
Raiders.
In first division, Perth, Melbourne and the Sydney
Roosters are all undefeated, with the Crushers, Broncos and Bears
bringing up the tail, and still winless.
Perth are also
undefeated in 2nd grade, along with the Rams and Broncos, and yet to
record a win are the Sharks and Cowboys.
By Daniel Scoop
Harrison Sacked
By Daniel Scoop
Star South Sydney lock Ashley Harrison has been sack, following
an altercation with coach Rabbitohbill. It's unsure as to what
happened, but people close to the club report Harrison showed
disloyalty to Rabbitohbill, who is a man of respect and credability.
Harrison was immediately dumped from the side, and an
announcement that he was available for trade released to the media.
Only the Panthers and the winless Tigers have shown interest, with
Tigers coach Famous1 stating he'll make Harrison captian of his
struggling side.
More as it develops...
Viking all sewn up
by Reberto Wills
Canberra owner has been told by NWL officials to mind his mouth
this evening after a disgusting and uncalled for attack on CEO
Whippy earlier today.
It is believed that this infraction
will force the Canberra owner to delve deeper into his already
loosening pocket with a rumoured fine of between $10,000 and
$100,000. CEO whippy had this to say “Its ok when coaches have
banter, that’s fine, but when one of them attacks me…that’s
enough, I’ll smash em……this is off the record by
the way”. Well like my female counterpart would say…
nothing is off the record.
It is rumoured that Whippy might
also bring a civil ligitation lawsuit against Thrash for defamation
of character, but one has to pose the question….What
character was there to begin with?
Statement from Canberra
As part of the Fine NWL gave Canberra, the NWL also made them put a statement out. Later that day ThrashViking via PM send through the followin statement:
Heres my statement: Go f*** Yourself. Unquote.
Also in that same PM it was told the Canberra were releasing 2 of there stars. Classy half Robbie Paul and back rower Dean Widders. The sale of these 2 players have given Canberra the money to pay there fines. Canberra have not yet released how much the fines were.
Raiders to get Raided?
Startling allegations have surfaced in the NWL community as it
has been revealed that Canberra coach ThrashViking has mismanaged
his accounting and with the intended scouting of Chris Nero and
William Zillman will in fact be $110,000 over the salary cap.
An
unknown source came to CEO Whippy late yesterday afternoon to advise
Whippy of this finding. It was believed illawrra Coach P.J was the
person whom approached Whippy, after it was proven that his team had
absolutely no starch and was looking to buy a couple of players.
CEO Whippy apparently contacted Canberra’s owner in
order to get an explanation of which he was quoted as saying “Come
on mate, just let it slide, I’ll let you go my wife!”.
Due to Whippy, a.k.a Tent Boy, not having an interest in Thrash’s
Lamb, he decided to give Thrash the ultimatum.
It is rumoured
that Canberra will have to sell players back to the pool before
trading opens. Thrash is not happy with two of his players at the
moment, being Scott Donald and Dean Widders, due to them having a
threesome with Mary and her little lamb. It is believed that Trash
will eliminate these two from his roster.
When I spoke to the
CEO earlier today he stated "before when the NRL was still
alive teams use to beak the cap all the time. This is the first time
anyone has in the NWL, and I’m here to make sure it’s
the last. I’m going to give them a big fine, and hope Canberra
and all the other teams take notice that you wont get away with
breakin the cap"
Now while, we cannot divulge the exact
amount of the fine, it is reported that the sanctioning a the Breach
Notice, for breaking the salary cap is in excess of $100,000 and
possibly reaching $500,000. On top of that Canberra will be forced
to pay an additional fine for going over their bank limit, believed
to be between $50,000 and $300,000.
Either way, things are
looking pretty murky for the coach from the long white cloud.
Reberto Wills
Cap Crisis
By Daniel Scoop
The NWL has been thrown into
turmoil with as many as 3 teams in massive cap trouble, weeks before
the start of the 2006 season.
Newcastle, Canberra, Manly are
in massive financial trouble, St George have small problems, and the
Western Suburbs Magpies, haven't signed a single player.
The
Knights have signed just 20 players, with only $10,000 to spend for
the remaining 10 players. Canberra have to sign 3 players, but only
have $20,000 to spend and Manly have to sign 3 players, and have
just $15,000 to spend.
There will be alot of juggling next
wednesday, as these clubs will be looking at selling several topline
players, to get the room under the cap to move, and sign the minimum
30 players needed.
The NWL have issued a notice that no team
will be given allowances, and all teams must sign 30 players.
The
not so Great Britain
By Reberto
Wills
Rumour and innuendo is circling around NWL this
evening as it was revealed that many of the “star”
imports coming from Britain will only be compared to the ability of
the average Premier League player in Australia.
The story
broke last night after Whippy spent the night on the piss with a few
off his offsiders, unawares of my eavesdropping in on the
conversation.
“HAHA you gotta love these stupid
coaches” Whippy proclaimed “They are buying all this so
called ‘talent’ and I’ve just buggered them up by
making them hopeless, they’ll be even worst than a
rookie!”
This has sparked riots of a spectacular and
colourful nature down at South Sydney’s new headquarters in
Oxford St where South’s coach Rabbitohbill and his team are
“Training”. Unfortunately Bill was unable as he was
putting his team through a hard training session.
Another
coach that will lose out from all this is new Manly coach Mickyj.
Understandably rumours circulating about this have caused
frustration in the camps at Manly as Mickyj was quite confident of a
premiership victory this season proclaiming this as Manly’s
season. However, his hardships are nothing compared to those of
coach MickT, of the Penrith Moutin’ men Panthers who recruited
extremely heavily in lamington’s, and Aussie ex-pats.
So
one has to beg the question, will this mean that the once much
proclaimed Great Britain contingent, not be great at all.
It’s
sure going to be an interesting season!
Henry Will Be The Last
The
NWL had it's first controversy of the 2006 season last week, with a
ruckus created over Henry Paul, and his entry into the scouting
draft. Henry was playing Rugby Union in 2005, and the best efforts
of a certian coach and Paul to mislead the NWL paid off, with Henry
was amazingly accepted entry into the NWL late last week.
It's
believed one coach who bidded for Paul, was furious to learn that
he'd invested valuable time into the recuitment process, only to see
it abused so easily. NWL CEO Whippy was on the backfoot and
defending his decision after he listed Paul as an eligable NWL
player for 2006. After the mistake was realised, it's believe the
NWL granted Paul's entry, to save face, as it would have made far
more headlines had he not been allowed.
Rumours are also
circulating that Whippy issued one of the involved teams with a
breach notice, after the confusion, and it's believed that that very
same coach, forwarded the notice right back to Whippy, stating that
it was infact Whippy, that was on notice.
Daniel
Scoop, NWL News Reporter
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