Arthur Brown writes a book

written by arthur brown

If you were standing on the road of Pickle Avenue and looked up casually, you would see the balcony and glass door of apartment number 47. If you looked again closely, you would see the small figure of Katy, her hands and face pressed against the glass, gazing down at the balcony floor. And if you used a pair of binoculars to view this scene, perhaps you would see what Katy appeared to be looking at, an ant carrying a dead butterfly. But no matter whether you looked casually, or closely, or through a pair of binoculars, you would not see what Katy was thinking. Her face wore a blank expression, which is rather a silly thing to write, as a 'blank expression' refers to the expression worn by someone who has no brains and is blank. It would be better to write that Katy wore no expression.

In truth, Katy was not thinking at all about ants carrying dead butterflies, or balcony floors, or people looking at her through binoculars.

Here I must break the impression that Katy was a good little girl. Although she WAS little, (being 7 years old) she was far from good. While Katy was not terribly bad, she was often impatient and apt to run into mischief. Her appearance of being a good person was like an adopted persona. An adopted persona is where you pretend to be something or someone that you are not. For example, I have adopted the persona of being an old man named Arthur Brown, although I am not old, male, or named Arthur Brown. Likewise, Katy had adopted the persona of being a good girl.

I digress. Set your mind back a paragraph and I will continue.

Katy was thinking about how lonely it is when ones parents are at work, ones brother is studying too hard to play with one, and how very boring the day was being, although this was not the day's fault. So Katy decided to rob a house.

I now propose to set my pen down at this rather exciting point. I need a cup of coffee. Never fear, I will resume writing at the start of the next paragraph.

There are good addictions and bad addictions, and it is the latter of which one must be wary. If one is addicted to books, and not spending large quantities of money on things one does not really need, there is obviously no problem. However, if one is addicted to television, and paying altogether too much money on wastes of time, then there is a problem. I had a friend who wanted an incredibly expensive television set but didn’t have the money. He asked a rich person he knew for a loan of the money. He could not find the money to pay the person back, because he never had the money in the first place, and so had to hide under my bed for a couple of months until the Mafia had forgotten about him. But it is caffeinated coffee I warn my readers about. Coffee will cause the drinker to stay awake all night. It stains teeth to a rather ugly yellow colour. It will force one to stop writing his or her best selling novel right at an interesting part, because he or she needs another cup. I apologise for performing this last action, and pray that no one will bear a grudge (meaning to think badly about Arthur Brown for interrupting the story due to a coffee break) against me. Thankyou. Now then...

So Katy decided to rob a house.